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Transportation Commission okays plan to cap I-5, but wants local government to pony up cash.
Transportation Commission okays plan to cap I-5, but wants local government to pony up cash. Matt Wong

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Oh-oh, you're just a hideaway, you're just a feeling. You let my heart escape beyond the meaning. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• It's been more than a week since kids returned to school in Portland, and as predicted and despite their best efforts, some students have either contracted COVID-19 or exposed others to it, and have been sent home to quarantine. However, it's increasingly apparent that the schools don't have a plan for how to educate kids who are quarantining at home indefinitely.

• The Oregon Transportation Commission has approved capping I-5 in the Rose Quarter, which will be a step toward restoring the predominately Black Albina neighborhood that was split in two when the highway was built in the '60s. However they are also asking for local governments to split the cost.

• "The state has tied our hands," said Multnomah County Chair Deborah Kafoury upon learning that the county's vaccine mandate will not apply to the employees in the Multnomah County Sheriffs Office as well as parole and probation officers. The city made a similar announcement this week... but Kafoury says she still has some tricks up her sleeve. Find out more in this report from our Alex Zielinski.

• Yesterday Transportation Commish Jo Ann Hardesty unveiled the new name of the Flanders Crossing Bridge (originally named after some old-timey white dude who did nothing but make himself money) that will now be referred to as the Ned Flanders Crossing (based on the character from The Simpsons, who himself was named after the crossing which was close to where creator Matt Groening grew up!) That's some old-school "Keep Portland Weird" stuff right there!

• Get your thinking brain on... it's time once again for the newest edition of Portland's funnest quiz, POP QUIZ PDX!

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• President Biden has announced sweeping new vaccine requirements, ordering all federal employees to get vaccinated, while also preparing to require private sector employers, who have more than 100 workers, to order their employees to get COVID-19 vaccinations or be tested for the virus weekly. This is expected to affect as many as 100 million Americans—particularly those who don't give a shit whether the rest of us live or die.

• Speaking of people who don't give a shit whether the rest of us live or die, Republican governors are hopping mad about the new federal vaccine mandate (GOOD), and are threatening to sue the Biden administration on grounds that the new rules are "unconstitutional." (Narrator's voice: It is not—at all. And they will learn this fact soon enough.)

• Note: These are the SAME Republican governors that were crying about how COVID was destroying their states' economies—even though an employer vaccine mandate will get everyone back to work faster.

• The Department of Justice is suing the state of Texas for their clearly unconstitutional anti-abortion laws that the Supreme Court failed to swat down. Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer was interviewed by NPR and correctly called the decision made by his conservative cohorts "very, very wrong... and I'll add one more 'very.'"

• Dang it, why can't this happen in Portland? "Five zebras have been on the loose in Maryland for over a week." WE WOULD APPRECIATE IT!

• Hey Savage Love fans! Get your tix now to see Dan Savage live and in-person on October 2 for a reading of his newest book, Savage Love from A to Z, an illustrated collection of 26 never-before-published essays! (Plus, paid attendees get their own copy of the book!)

Support The Portland Mercury

• Alert! We've combined three of our world-famous film festivals into one, big, sexy, stoney, scary, movie showcase called the Mercury Movie Mashup! It's the best of the best from SPLIFF (our stoner film fest), SLAY (our horror film fest), and HUMP! (the little porn festival that started it all!), featuring all the blood, sex, and weed you can handle THIS WEEKEND ONLY at the Clinton Street Theater—go get those tix now!

• And now... THE WEATHER REPORT: A cooler, cloudy day today with a high of 75.

• And finally, thanks for NOTHING, universe!