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January 6 terrorists want to get the gang back together this weekend.
January 6 terrorists want to get the gang back together this weekend. Brent Stirton

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! I've packed my bags, I've cleaned the floor. Watch me walkin', walkin' out the door. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• Oregon's second largest high school—Reynolds High in Troutdale—has halted indoor learning after 901 students and staff were quarantined after possibly being exposed to four COVID-19 cases. Meanwhile more than 600 students and staff across the entirety of the Portland school district are also quarantining at home.

• The Oregon Board of Education is putting pressure on Newberg's majority conservative school board to reverse their decision to ban Black Lives Matter and Pride symbols from their district, and instead embrace the students' right to publicly affirm their identities.

• This past spring, Portland City Council voted to make a significant investment in gun violence prevention programs to the tune of $6 million (AND none of it goes to the cops). However, the distribution of the funds to non-profits who can carry out the plan... well... it hasn't been going so good. Our Alex Zielinski explains why!

• Beloved and respected Metro Councilor Bob Stacey will be resigning from his council seat mid-term, due to his growing health issues. Our Alex Zielinski has more.

• Get your thinking brain on! It's time once again for the sassiest quiz in town, POP QUIZ PDX, featuring a pants-load of fun questions about local trivia, which Nabisco snacks you should be boycotting, and a special "subjective" question about which Simpsons character you'd get tattooed on your right bicep. BEING SMART HAS NEVER BEEN SO FUN!

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• Gen. Mark Milley is defending his (CORRECT!) decision to assuage the fears of China who were (NOT UNREASONABLY) terrified that the vengeful and mentally unbalanced Trump could launch a nuclear attack on their country. Milley is expected to explain his decision more thoroughly when he testifies in front of Congress in the next couple of weeks.

• A FDA panel is meeting today to discuss the Biden Administration's plan to recommend a booster shot of the Pfizer vaccine—though scientists are torn over whether the extra dose is necessary.

• Idaho's massive COVID surge has forced the Department of Health and Welfare to declare medical treatment rationing throughout the state, thanks to Idaho being one of the least vaccinated states in the nation. How will the "rationing" work? According to the report, "scarce resources such as ICU beds will be allotted to the patients most likely to survive."

• GOP Rep. Anthony Gonzalez has decided against running for Congress again, citing the "toxic dynamics" within the Republican party. Meanwhile, even though he's endorsed by Trump, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott has a lot of Republican challengers to run against him in the next election.

• The Department of Homeland Security has issued a warning about the possibility of violence this weekend in Washington, DC, as extremist right-wingers are threatening to show up for a "Justice for J6" rally that seeks to pay tribute to the terrorists who attacked the nation's capitol on January 6. And look out, Oregon: Similar events are planned in various state capitols over the coming month.

• Hey Savage Love fans! Get your tix now to see Dan Savage live and in-person on October 2 for a reading of his newest book, Savage Love from A to Z, an illustrated collection of 26 never-before-published essays! (Plus, paid attendees get their own copy of the book!)

• And now... THE WEATHER REPORT: Expect a cloudy day with a high of 75, though those predicted drenching rains probably won't show up until late in the evening.

• And finally, do people hire celebrity impersonators anymore? If so, HIRE THIS PERSON!