The White House lays out its plan to combat dueling viruses this winter.
The White House lays out its plan to combat dueling viruses this winter. Anna Moneymaker / Getty Images

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IN LOCAL NEWS:

• If you're a fan of political DRAMA, then don't miss this story from our Alex Zielinski which involves a memo sent from Multnomah County Auditor Jennifer McGuirk to the Joint Office of Homelessness (JOHS), who McGuirk says may be misleading the public on the number of unhoused individuals that have found housing through its programs. Meanwhile, JOHS is saying "Hold up there, McGuirk! (I'm paraphrasing.) That's not exactly accurate!" Oh the DRAMZ.

• Don't miss the second part of the EXCELLENT three-part OPB series about how downtown businesses have turned to a private security company to police the local houseless community, despite the fact there's no real oversight and multiple reports of security guard misconduct.

• Very much related: A grand jury has indicted Logan Gimbel, a private security guard, for fatally shooting Freddy Nelson in the heart and head while he was sitting in a North Portland parking lot last May. Our Alex Zielinski has all the details.

• U of O's student government is asking administrators to implement critical race theory as a curriculum requirement for all undergraduate students—which if you ask me is a great idea, and if you ask most Republicans, they'll collapse in a pile of white fragility.

• Good news for music lovers: "McMenamins will add a new outdoor concert venue to Forest Grove’s Grand Lodge next summer."

• Put on yer thinking caps! It's time for the weekly, super fun POP QUIZ PDX, featuring sassy-ass Qs about Portland scandals, weirdo history, and a subjective question about what YOU think should be the new national anthem! (Britney Spears' "Toxic" perhaps?)

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• The House has passed a spending bill to continue funding the government until February, BUT OF COURSE Senate Republican buttholes are once again working against their constituents by threatening to torpedo it over life-saving vaccine mandates.

• The new Omicron variant continues its spread across the nation, with the virus showing up in California, Minnesota, Colorado, and New York. Health officials are advising people not to panic, but continue doing what smart people do: Wear a mask, and get vaccinated or boosted.

• Meanwhile, President Biden has introduced his new winter plan for dealing with dueling Omicron and Delta viruses, which includes private health insurance paying for over-the-counter COVID tests, and widespread testing and vaccinations/boosters rather than lockdowns.

• The NFL has suspended Tampa Bay Buccaneers players Antonio Brown and Mike Edwards for attempting to pass off fake vax cards.

• You want to find the perfect gift while also supporting local businesses, yes? YES! Then don't miss the Mercury's Holiday Gift Guide, featuring only the coolest gifts and where to find them... locally!

• And now... THE WEATHER REPORT: Partly sunny and much COOLER tomorrow with a high of 48.

• And finally... welp. Christmas is officially ruined.