2 Gyrlz presents Human Sculpture with music by Nequaquam Vacuum

Center Space, 420 SE 6th Ave

8 pm, $5-12

My coworker Justin is new to the office. He's a nice guy who likes to sleep late, eat Thai food, act in plays, dress as a streaker for Halloween, play with dogs, and drink beer. All pretty normal, everyday-guy kind of things. But one thing I didn't know about Justin, and it would be hard to guess by looking at his pressed khakis and turtleneck sweaters, is that he loves S&M.

No, Justin didn't come out and tell me about his unquenchable thirst for S&M; I figured it out. How? Well Justin was absolutely adamant that this week's "Check it Out Biznatch" be about the 2 gyrlz presentation, Human Sculpture. He even said, "Forget about the sci-fi convention, it's fifty freaking dollars, we're writing about Human Sculpture... And someone else is going to have to do it, because I'm way too freaking busy!" That wouldn't be so weird if Justin wasn't the world's biggest sci-fi fan.

Anyway, Human Sculpture consists of a group of scantily clad people wearing ropes and harnesses and stringing themselves together in a structure called "the cage." The director is positioned in the middle of the group (how very dom) and tells people where and how to move (how very sub). Butt cheeks are exposed, piercing is incorporated, and the whole sexually charged performance art display takes about a half-hour. There will also be a video of the infamous osseus labyrint troupe--a group of giant hairless people who mimick the movements of bats and bugs--who will not be performing live because they are too tired from touring with Tool (worship-meter reading 10.5). A performance/video art piece by Jeffery Byrd will also be included, and performance art by Jamie McMurray.

You might, like me, be skeptically thinking that this program is a little heavy on the performance art. Or perhaps like Justin, you might be in the closet about your love for S&M. But you know what takes the edge off of these feelings of apprehension: yeah, that's right, booze. This is one of those wacky, interesting, subversive, gothy things you might not do or see too often, and if you get freaked out, don't worry, there's a bar right over there. And while you're ordering a cocktail, look out for Justin, and say hi to him, he desperately needs playmates. KATIE SHIMER