Hey friend, I get it. Times are hard. And the internet brings all this suffering right into your hands. It's tough to watch. You feel like you need to do something. I'm not trying to change your mind. I'm just going to politely ask that you stop posting about it on social media ten times a day. I get that you are angered by injustice. I just want to point out that you're outraged about what's happening in a country you couldn't find on a map like ten months ago. Maybe go outside and get some fresh air. Write a letter to your congressman or whatever. I'm just trying to look at my friends vacation pictures while I take a shit, I really don't need to hear your in-depth analysis of global politics ten times a day. Thanks! - your anonymous social media friend

Hey, I just found out the cops who killed Brianna Taylor had their case dismissed. Remember when we were all marching in the streets to protest that? Remember that one friend that posted about it on Instagram everyday? Well, now there's been a miscarriage of justice! So what are we going to do about it! Protest? Oh right, we're busy protesting about Palestine now. Politics? Oh, now we're using politics to keep abortion legal. Local police reform? Wait what, we're actually increasing the police presence? Okay, so I guess we'll just move on with our lives and forget this ever happened then?

It may be tempting to subject creatives to the Torment Nexus, but this is strictly against the terms of service. While creatives are known to produce art of immense note while under adverse conditions such as feudalism, capitalism, colonialism, or rancid vibes, we here at Torment Industries have concluded in legal consultation that suffering does not cause art but only contextualizes expression within the abhorrent. However evocative the results, we maintain that the only correct use of the Torment Nexus, as stipulated in the EULA, is on landlords and cops.

Thank you - Sylvia Plath, Antonin Artaud, Vincent Van Gogh, Syd Barrett, Daniel Johnston, Kurt Cobain, Zazie Productions, Henry Darger, and all of the visionaries who fought/are fighting demons to create great art.

I’m frequently reminded that I made it further than expected. I did a lot of work and made a lot of progress. It just doesn’t look like much because I started at negative numbers. A normal person would not be impressed simply by the fact that I have an address and a bank account. Fuck that. I have a wife and kids. I may even make enough money for once to be considered lower-lower-middle class. Bills paid motherfucker. Vacations booked. Thoughts of the harder times and my own actions which put me there come up on a daily basis. People that I might know from before. Situations that make me nervous. Subtle reminders that I might not be totally welcome no matter how much time and work I put in. Fears I need to keep to myself. We all got normal shit to deal with. Besides there’s also some current chaos happening around us. I basically had to win the lottery to get here. The real challenge is keeping it. Or at least using it correctly

It's been 2 years and I am still thinking about you. You were my sleep tech, then I literally ran into you buying apples at Trader Joe's!! I know you felt too... Please reach out, you have my number and if you lost it you know how to reach me at work :)

I realize you are very worried about the war/climate/economy/election you read about on your phone. I realize you feel powerless to do anything about it. I realize that can be emotionally destabilizing to the point of making you feel physically ill. Well, good news...I have the solution to your problems! It's pretty simple. Just turn off your phone. Go for a walk. Breathe the fresh air. Maybe hug a tree or something. Enjoy the real world that is all around you. Ignore the digital world that is making you miserable. Thank me later. - I Anonymous

Oh, wait. You’re not yelling at me, you’re sitting in your back yard yelling into the phone. Take it inside already! The whole block doesn’t want to hear you shouting about gender equity to your hapless mother. I’m looking at you, SE Sherman St. (As if you have the self awareness to recognize your own selfish behavior.)

We will find you.

For the decency of all of us, please stop putting mayonnaise, and it’s first cousin aolie, on every fricking thing in the world. We know it’s there and we are powerless to stop it. PLEASE!!

I love the Lan Su Chinese Garden. I really do. It's bad that they have been experiencing vandalism. But that new fence is all wrong. In response to a cry for help from the Garden, the City of Portland (so I hear) took it upon itself to slap up a freestanding chain link fence. (I guess this will prevent graffiti? Not really sure what else it achieves, tbh.) It has those metal feet that stick out, and it takes up most of the sidewalk. I saw a person (a normie, if you must) trip over one of those and go down hard. So this new "safety" measure actually harmed someone. Worse, it's on both sides of the street. So, no wheelchairs, strollers, or differently abled pedestrians can go down NW Flanders between 2d and 3rd. Maybe there has to be some physical safeguard for a while. But people should be able to use the sidewalk. More to the point, who wants a city full of hardened perimeters and security guards? The Garden should be integrated with the neighborhood, friendly and welcoming to all. What we need is a city where people don't lose their minds on the street and become violent in the first place. Duh. Everyone knows we need to pour a LOT more resources into mental health, addiction treatment, antipoverty measures and housing, right? Maybe instead of putting up a fence, swarm the block with social workers. I don't know. I don't have all the answers. I just know this ain't it.

This Wednesday’s news kept me repeating lines from that old cry from the heart that is the Cranberries’ rocker “Zombie”: “In your head, in your head they are fighting/With their tanks, and their bombs, and their bombs, and their guns/In your head, in your head they are crying.” As the catastrophic destruction of Gaza deepens, Cori Bush, a Missouri member of the “Squad” and a ceasefire advocate, lost her Democratic primary Tuesday to her better funded pro-Israel, AIPAC-supported opponent, Wesley Bell. The Intercept reports that, with AIPAC millions and funds from other Bush opponents, she was outspent 4 to 1. The Bush loss was much like that of Sushila Jayapal to the AIPAC-supported Maxine Dexter in our 3rd District, as well as the primary loss of New York’s Jamaal Bowman (another “Squad” member vastly outspent). It seems frighteningly possible that we could have a Dem President more open to a rational Middle East policy, yet with a Congress more willing than ever to arm Israel. Groups like the Justice Democrats, Progressive Democrats of America, and the Jewish Voice for Peace PAC are trying to counter this massive tide of electoral dollars from AIPAC and its allies; the Working Families Party also supported Ms. Bush. Joe Meyer, of the Green Party, is one option for a November protest vote in Blumenauer’s District 3, if genocide disgusts you. Jim Hightower has remarked folksily that elected officials will dance with those who brung ‘em. Could AIPAC dollars be a decisive factor leading us to support greater war in the Middle East?

Have you ever noticed the language we use to describe and debate important issues in our lives here in the United States? In addition to the actual wars we fight around the globe, we have engaged in far too many metaphorical wars, like the War on Drugs, the War on Crime, and the War on Poverty. That’s a lot of wars. Whenever politicians make statements on why they are best suited to represent us, they invariably assure us that they will “fight” for us: fight for our rights; fight for our freedoms. Fight, fight, fight! That’s a lot of fights. Just once, I would like to hear leaders say something like, “I will represent your views and serve your interests, just as you expect me to.” Or, “I will do my best to redress the inadequacies that diminish the future for your family and you.” Lastly, “I pledge to do what is right for the most people, while adversely affecting the fewest people.” We us violent language because we are a people steeped in violence. And where has it gotten us? We are well down the list of nations whose citizens report enjoying a high quality of life. We have an enormous gap between the wealthy and working poor of the country, a disparity that spells misery for millions of our countrymen. Our people can barely afford housing and food, let alone health insurance. Children go hungry and the homeless live in the gutters of our streets. Can we just stop fighting for a short time, and do something to help the people who need it? Can we just stop being so angry, hateful, and aggressive all the time, and try being a bit more compassionate and loving? Maybe we should try that for a change

First of all, why aren't the Russians there? North Korea is there! Iran is there! The Chinese are there, but they're not as much fun to beat as the Russians. Wouldn't the Simone Biles scores feel better if there were a bunch of Russians frowning at her. They're probably worried the Russians would poison people or whatever. Other than that, Olympics are cool. Lots of jokes that I wouldn't even risk on "I Anonymous". But it's cool to see the world come together to hangout and beat the shit out of each other in sports.