To the various neighborhoods surrounding myself and where I work. When Covid first hit, to pass time, so many of you spent time gardening and planting that spring. I can’t begin to thank you enough for the last couple springs and summers, for just how beautiful your gardens have been and the explosion of color I’ve been treated to on my daily walks, and while I’m at work. It makes a chaotic world a bit more bearable when I get to see nature’s beauty and all that color. I can feel the “glaze” overcoming myself when I see it and am so grateful that in those early days of uncertainty, and needing to occupy your time, that you created such beauty. I used to jokingly say I could find a silver lining in a plague. And thanks to you, I have.

You're all looking gorgeous. Seriously. Everyone all over town looks like a model. Even if you're having a bad day, or a tough year, just know that someone thinks you look like a movie star. Yeah, superficial stuff doesn't matter, but if this makes you feel good, it's worth it. <3

We don't have a homeless crisis, we have a homeless industry and the lack of accountability and consequences for portland landlords is at the very root of the issue and no one is talking about it! Evictions favor landlords 90% of the time which made sense after I sat in court, watching judges rule in favor of the landlord when the tenant did not appear, while judges also set aside cases waiting for landlords to appear, and occasionally even calling them and allowing them to present via the phone, then rule in their favor even though the law states that the court is required to rule in favor of the tenant who did appear. Due to recent circumstances, no fault of my own, I found myself homeless. The illegal and immoral actions of my landlord were done maliciously and with confidence that they could get away with it, and they were right. We can build all the affordable homes we want, but if poorly managed without consequences, who cares. We will continue adding to the homeless population while funding vacant properties that should be filled by houseless residents building a home. Also, let's be real, with all the funding the state receives to fund failed projects such as these ridiculous and dangerous tiny home communities, while personally profiting by increasing salaries or wheeling and dealing for personal interests, why would they want to fix the problem? They would no longer be entitled to the many perks they get while the citizens continue to suffer and struggle. Looking at a certain mayor for example who loves and fully supports these tiny home imprisonments that have no clue what they are doing and are bleeding resources that belong to us, the people of portland.

Saturday morning the streetcar was waiting at a stop with its doors closed. I ran to catch it and the operator saw me coming. When I pushed the door open button the streetcar pulled away leaving me standing there. A-hole operator saw me and intentionally left me behind just because he could. A little power trip for him I guess. Saturday afternoon the #15 bus was re-routed from Belmont to Stark because of the street fair. Stark is too narrow for busses to pass easily and the driver needed to do some serious squeezing through just to get around the 14th and Stark corner. Huge round of applause from a crowded bus when he made it. Skilled driver doing an excellent job. Two different sides of TriMet.

Please don't try to make it anywhere. Though that is somewhere for you, giving you the needed gratification you want. You know how you read any comments on any internet media, there's always the one or few people by just the comments, you can tell they are bigoted assholes with judgmental and misguided opinions that lack comprehension skills? You can tell you would never be friends with them? You can feel the bitter anger in their heart, and the rage and violence they'd likely commit? That is what it is like here. 4 of you! Two of you, every comment I read is a "wow" do they really feel that way and is that what they'd be willing to do knowing that is what they're thinking? Talk about becoming what you hate! It is just indicative of this society of millions hiding behind screens that would never say these things face to face because yes, folks are strapped bro! There's one of you that I actually appreciate the informed and well thought out opinions usually representative towards underdogs and overcoming adversity. Then there's the wanna be poet who tries so hard to make the format of their comment as if it is creative and something revolutionary. But sorry, you aren't. I hope you guys do something to your days other than check back every few hours to see who else has commented!

Say I'm mowing the lawn, thats all I'm focused on. The lawn, the songs in my head, and the workout. Heres why I notice the other part. If I'm walking by someone else mowing the lawn, they will instantly pick their head up and look at me. That's why I notice people looking at me when I'm mowing as they walk by. It is so fucking weird! The same goes for if I'm working, and mopping in a building with glass windows. That's all I'm concentrating on. Sure enough, if I look up as someone walks by, they're already staring at me like I'm an orangutan with a mop. The same goes for if I'm walking by someone working in a building with glass windows, they stop what they're doing to take notice of me. I only notice as part of my behavioral observations I have. Plus it gives me anxiety people looking at me. I know, get over it. I truly care less about YOU! I seriously don't pay attention to you. I only do because I know you're staring at me. I literally just walked past 4 dudes raking concrete, all stop in synchronicity to look at me. Aren't you dudes supposed to focusing on this craft you're doing? Same goes for walking by someone on a "smoke break" intently scoping out the phone, then I walk by, and their head looks up to see who I am. Like, what did that accomplish for you? This is why and what is wrong. This distracted, nosy, and paranoid society we live in. I'll do me. You do you. This is my business. Mind your own. And stop being fucking weirdos!

I know you fucked your 1st cousin three times. I know your drug use history. I know (most) all your shitty fucked up things you’ve done drunk these last few years. I know you read these. I’m dating your besty and you hate it. but now you know I know all your shit—so fuck off. Thanks

If someone is tailgating you, move over! Yes I can see you are trying to police me from getting past you but I will eventually so MOVE OVER! If you want to drive the speed limit that’s great but DO IT IN THE SLOW LANE! Some of us want to go fast and you dickheads preventing us passing is starting to piss me off. Yes I can see the many cars up ahead but I’ll pass them too. Just get out of my way b/c I got places to be and obviously you don’t so GTFO!

Dear Homeowners, I honestly don’t know how to break this to you, so I’m just gonna come out and say it. You don’t own the public street in front of your house. It isn’t my fault that your home lacks parking, presumably because it wasn’t built that way or there simply isn’t room for it. You aren’t owed a parking space, it’s not yours and you have zero right to bitch, whine or otherwise piss and moan to other folks who have lawfully parked there. Ram your righteous indignation up your smug shit pipe. I’ll park there if I want. I don’t give a shit what you pay in taxes or how long you’ve lived there. If anything, I get excited when my hail damaged, base model Ford Fiesta is perceived to be an eyesore against the backdrop of your pristine domicile. I really hope I’m bringing the property values down. Should you choose to vandalize my car as some of you have done in the past, please consider another dent or scratch down the side of a $5000 hail damaged car isn’t really a big concern. In fact it’s probably worth it if it frustrates you and wastes your time. If you need parking, move or walk your ass home from a place that does have parking.

The sign said no posers, you still showed up dressed up in your punk costume, you landlord manager fuck, go to hell

Here's the thing about crowded Trimet buses, mostly naming buses on school routes when school is done for the day. Sure, let's get all the kids on, but when does it end? The driver gets on the horn and urges the standing passengers to squeeze back and move back as much as possible to get more people on-board in which we will not be able to fit a third of the other kids trying to get on. So let's move on! Like GO! Make a decision, and cut it off. It's already full. Its gonna be arbitrary where it ends and cuts off at the person who will have to wait. This was Pre-Pandemic of course, but I think I get the lesson learned. Slow down was my lesson! Too much of anything is too much. School is back and not out for summer... What's more, people cannot even exit on a crowded bus. People have to start exiting the bus to let them leave then get back on. Whats more, we crash, we are all fucked. Whats more, any accident, fire, or strange disastrous circumstance, we have no way out. Sure, pile em all on. How to pile us out of there? Then 10 minutes later, the kids have all got to their destination. Maybe, the kid could walk the three blocks but it was a tough day, I know. And hey, coronas over, so someone ready to French me and grope me now?

And GPS is the excuse. "I just follow." So I said, "that's what's wrong. You don't use your own brain." I mean how fucking God damn hard is it to use common sense. Well, that was a dumb question. So, how fucking God damn hard is it to find an address? Okay, I'll give you the pin told you where to stop so you follow like every other human sheep in this world. I love sheep BTW. I'll give you that. Free pass. So how fucking God damn hard is it to at least pick me up on the side of the street you're supposed to be on? So how fucking God damn hard is it to make a u turn on a street to pull up on the side of the street where the address is? I didn't just have a backpack. I had a suitcase. I also had a duffle. My bad for being lazy. You again said, "I follow." So how fucking God damn hard is it? Man, Jesus, Lord people are getting dumber by the second. Is it me? People that like to use the internet or GPS as an excuse as to why they do what they do or why they get a free pass for being a God damn idiot are way too plentiful. Am I wrong? Why do I not operate this way in life so I can get sympathy and other free shit by playing dumb? Not to mansplain either but if I was driving, the GPS would get me there then I would perhaps look up and starting looking at actual addresses. But, maybe that is too much work!!

It was the height of Corona and I sat in the middle of the very back of the bus between you and someone else. Perfectly legal to me in this public setting. I saw the motion of why am I sitting there by you. I said "what?" You said, "move!" I said it back, " you move!" I get it shitty stressful time we went through. There is however no need to think you own this bus, or you control public places. You were a bully then. You got off the bus then giving me Mr. Evil Eye, and outside the bus swearing and giving me the hurtful middle finger. Not only a bully, but a raging lunatic. Soooo... Today, hey Bud, I saw you again. I was reading, could care less about your existence but I connected it, it was you. Then of course because you own everything, you had to open a window because your baby bum was hot. I would've liked to have just shut the window because that's my prerogative just the same as it is yours to open it. Then I noticed the BLM bracelet on your wrist. This is not about that. This is about how can someone have such contraditictions in their heart and anger in their soul for someone who just wanted to sit which was still a seat apart from you and then have such compassion for a another theme and struggle? Man, fuck that. Fuck you. Maybe I'm bitter but I don't and won't hang on to this energy but you are a true asshole.

Seeing you after so many years, hearing your voice and seeing an expression that is purely you, made time evaporate. Telling me that our time together was a cherished memory took me a bit by surprise. I stumbled a little telling you that I feel the same, but only because I wouldn't, couldn't tell you the whole of it. That, I got on with my life and, not a day has passed in 53½ years that I haven't thought of you. Because to do so might hurt. And we've had enough hurt in our lives. Because if I told you that, I might also tell you that I never stopped loving you. That I just learned to show it differently.