OR CHOOSE NOT TO!
The Keebler Elves are important figures in Cherokee mythology!
After hacking her parents to death, Lizzie Borden fled west and changed her name... to Laura Ingalls Wilder!
Walt Disney's early sketches of Mickey Mouse depict a hermaphroditic earthworm!
In Utah, it is illegal to have more than one wife!
It's not gay if you're "pitching!"
The koala is widely feared by Australians for holding a grudge longer than any other marsupial!
"Squirrel" is an old Norse word for "war-bringer"!
Ross Island was originally home to Oregon's first leper colony!
Rhubarb is known as "The Devil's Vegetable!"
The average human female will bear 13.5 children over the course of her life! Most will be lost to scurvy, wolves, and boating accidents!
Jews refuse to eat pork that has not been baptized by a Catholic priest!
The Red Cross is using blood donations to clone an army that will colonize other planets! Leftover plasma goes into housepaint!
Before resorting to crucifixion, the Romans attempted to murder Jesus by bludgeoning him with socks filled with oranges!
Sea lions generally show no interest in barbeque!
Human blood is flammable!
The sport of polo originated in India as an efficient method of killing monkeys!