I, Anonymous

Doggy Do-Over

Comments

1
A validation of the medium! Or a bunch of baloney. Either way, brilliant and pathetic.
2
Not falling for it.
3
I hope that is a true story, its always heart warming to know the dipshits are finding each other out there. Just please please please dont breed.
4
This was funny, but I think I saw this on a TV show once... Next time please be a bit more creative with your fiction. I enjoy the fictitious ride, but we did have all those crappy TV shows in the 80's (which is where I think this script came from)...

Next week... a band of army operatives go rogue and save a local business from the mob... (A-Team theme playing in the background)
5
It does not surprise me that the mercury prints obvious lies for a chuckle.
6
Who in the fuck has the money to just run out and purchase a new "puggle" (I don't want to know so please don't tell me) right now?
7
This looks shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels and from having seen quite a few shops in my time.
8
NO MORE LIES
9
Excuse me, but you "love" your girlfriend? If this I, Anonymous really loved his/her girl, s/he would be honest with her and the replacement of her dog would bring them closer together. When she does eventually find out his deceit...their relationship is over. Was it worth it?
10
My favorite iteration of the script is from Northern Exposure; Chris is tending his current lover's pets when the bird dies. He replaces it and she doesn't notice, leading him to lose respect for her due to the fact that she fell for his ruse.
If it's true, the chances are she knows and is (sort of) playing along. Going on about how the partial ear "healed" is a signal.
11
i've actually seen this happen before. i'm suprised everyday how stupid people have become. not one person i work with even knows what a fallafel is.
12
I reeeaallly hope this is true, it's the most entertaining I, Anonymous I've read in a while. But the fact that these have been proven fictional is fuckin frustrating.
13
I cant figure out how to submit an entry for this column. Anyhow, Ill just submit it right here:
Manthing, I wanted to tell you that I had such a sexy Valentine's Day hauling all your crap out to the sidewalk (I understand free piles now). It was sooo romantic. It must be liberating to just walk out and let other people pick up the mess you made. Is that a Buddhist way of coping? I hope the booze and cocaine hangover wasn't too unpleasant for you. Maybe meditating would help. Also, I hope that you and "can't get her kid back" had a smashing Valentine's Day together. It's a shame I never got to meet the bitch. Im sure you really outdid yourself for her. You certainly outdid yourself for me. I've never seen someone incinerate so many bridges so quickly. It's impressive next to some of the other self-destructive narcissists I've known. Good luck outrunning your demons. You're gonna need it; they are quick little fuckers. Don't wear yourself out. You had it made with me. All you had to do was MAN UP. As Tom Petty said... "You got lucky babe, when I found you..."

14
100% fake