I, Anonymous Mar 10, 2011 at 4:00 am

I, Anonymous

Apologies of a Douche

Anonymous
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Comments

1
It seems like everything leading up to the statement, "I just wanted to let you know that I'm not really a d-bag" contradicts the assertion that the author is "not really a d-bag."
spudboy on March 9, 2011 at 7:19 PM Report this
2
This was so nice! YAY!
cheetoface on March 9, 2011 at 9:09 PM Report this
3
Funny, I know people who are blind in one eye that are capable of not driving/parking like dickheads.
disastronaut on March 9, 2011 at 9:20 PM Report this
4
He shouldn't be driving.
frankieb on March 10, 2011 at 9:35 AM Report this
5
Perhaps instead of I,Anonymous you should rename this column "I, Punching Bag." It seems like no matter what someone writes 20-50 people will log on "anonymously" to spew some bile at them.
spartacus on March 10, 2011 at 9:53 AM Report this
6
If you cant drive and concentrate on making dinner for your stupid fucking girlfriend, do ALL of us a favor and dont drive. Also, fuck you spartacus, you're here too.
warkitten on March 10, 2011 at 3:41 PM Report this
7
When did anger become so cool?What a cool change.A sincere apology.I'm so sick of shitheads like battle-pussy,frankendweeb,ASSronut and pudbaby.I'm going to try and refrain from anger and become a nicer dude.I've made my mistakes with anger before.Anger sucks.Anger sucks.I know I'm going to get blasted for this but...Love will prevail in my heart and mind.Now I'm going to smoke some weed.Get naked and fuck a tree.Bring it.
Brad the quarterback on March 10, 2011 at 5:49 PM Report this
8
This was the nicest I, ANON i've seen here yet. No complaints. No bitching. No hollow death threats. What a swell guy, you're alright bro. I wish more Portlanders were like you.
DamosA on March 11, 2011 at 3:51 PM Report this
9
The term douchebag is tired. Look how people copy what they hear in mass media. How sheepish.

Read this from the NY Times:

http://www.alternet.org/story/143970/the_new_york_times_embraces_'douche'_as_the_television_dirty_word_of_the_moment/
on March 12, 2011 at 12:59 AM Report this
10
Awesome! the Stranger Troll has moved to the Mercury. Dear Troll, this is one post that you can't dis. A human owning their actions. How do we call bad on that?
on March 12, 2011 at 8:23 AM Report this
11
It's like someone apologizing for having bad hygiene. You can obviously make an effort to brush you teeth and take a shower more often, just as you can take the time to lean how to drive and park correctly. This person just doesn't give a shit and thinks that if they say sorry enough it will somehow absolve him of personal responsibility.
disastronaut on March 12, 2011 at 9:27 AM Report this
12
hey you I, Anonymous twat, i'm the one who put that note on your car. seriously. my wife was 9 months pregnant and couldn't even open the door to get into the car. sure, she had put on some weight, but shit man that's no excuse for your clusterfuck of a park job, nor is your girlfriend having a bad day. new seasons may be the friendliest store in the neighborhood but it's drivers sure aren't. shitty parkers seem to be the norm at new seasons for some unbeknownst reason and this was the third time we had been boxed in. i'm sure you'll appreciate my saying something. i gotta admit though, i certainly got a kick out of seeing this pop up in the paper. next time, i will key your car...you've been warned....
on March 12, 2011 at 5:06 PM Report this
13
People who won't accept a sincere apology are infinitely worse than any bad parking job.
cheetoface on March 12, 2011 at 9:00 PM Report this
14
There is nothing is this "apology" that rings remotely as sincere.

"I even noticed this myself and decided, "Nawww, I'll just leave it where it is."" He's fully aware that his lazy, fuckwitted and failed attempt at parking has made it nearly impossible for someone else to get in or out the parking space. He could have easily taken 1/10th the it took him to write this I, Anon and park his car properly, but would have been the decent, non d-lord thing to do.

I guess it's easier to just be a lazy selfish douche now and make excuses for it later, anonymously online, where you will inevitable find an apologist for your ridiculous behavior.
disastronaut on March 12, 2011 at 10:20 PM Report this
15
Just fishing out the haters dog.
Brad the quarterback on March 15, 2011 at 7:05 PM Report this
16
man have I got one hell of a parking job story for these pages. i'm still too steamed to write about it, but the title shall be "Sweet Karma"
frankieb on March 16, 2011 at 12:00 AM Report this
17
OH FUCK, THIS IS ALL SO IMPORTANT.
yeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeah on March 16, 2011 at 1:21 AM Report this

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