I, Anonymous Jun 21, 2012 at 4:00 am

World Naked Bike Deride


Plus, you know, fat and naked + bicycle = gross.
^^^for the win!!
Dear Anonymous,

The Naked Bike Ride is not for everyone but it is not gross. Fat people naked are not gross they are naked. Being around others naked with all of their imperfections unguarded is an amazingly freeing thing. Sure there are some stunning people there with clothes off but on average most folks were (and are) average, which is to say, not perfect, which is to say, with flaws, which is to say, beautiful. We spend so much of our lives trying to hide those weaknesses and accentuate the positive that to give that whole charade a rest for one evening is nothing less than freeing.

In my experience people who repeat compliments paid to them by others are sad inside and most often a bore. They don't need further floggings, multiply that times a million for floggings in public.
Understanding goes a long way and when it/they become unbearable, avoidance.

You paint your co-worker to be an inexperienced cyclist. One that you have been nice enough to invite out for a ride(s). Then you drop them? Fostering the practicality of cycling means being a mentor, not beating an inexperienced cyclist up a hill or to the next stop.
Then to deride them for it later? You make me grateful you're not my "friend" or co-worker.

This town is full of so many "commuters" and "cycling advocates" that do little to help further the cause of cycling. If you want to help further the cause of cycling smile while you're riding your bike. Smile at the people working in their yards, other cyclists and yes, even motorists.
People will be won over to bikes when they can be reminded of the fun they once had while riding, not by self-righteousness or how fast someone is going.

Bob Car-free

Bob- objectively, no fat naked people are not gross. By the same objective standards, child porn is art and nukes are defense. Speaking SUBJECTIVELY, I think that the act of ignoring your health until the point that you resemble the Dune villian is sad, and flauting your naked mistake in public is disgusting. SUBJECTIVELY, as in via my opinion.

As an eco-conscious person, I think the naked bike ride is a horrific exhibition of everything wrong with this city. First, the whole "oil awareness" shit is cognitive dissonance combined with rationalization of failure. I don't care how much gas you save, if you're finding yourself riding your bike naked as an adult, you have failed. Somewhere, somehow, the screw stripped and you're damaged goods. Bike to St Helens to work in a factory? You're saving the environment and working a real job. Taking three hours away from your shift at Shithole Donuts to bear your National Geographic tits on a fixie so you can Tweet about it? You're the reason Portlandia isn't stuck on cable access. You suck and I hope you die in a fire.

Second, I like to scratch my balls. It's natural. So is shitting. Mind if I shit on the sidewalk in front of your kids to raise awareness for colon cancer? And then call you homophobic because you don't like the sight of my starfish?? You suck and I hope your gluten allergies are real.

Finally, I don't have any kids. By 18, an average person consumes fifty thousand times the resources that a gas efficient automobile does. Wanna make the world a better place? Get your balls clipped, Bob.

-Child-free, Auto-driving Ray
Go Ray! Go Ray!

-Big Boobie Bike-riding Michele
The three people who disliked Bob C's comment (and the people who will dislike this one) are all a bunch of freakin' turds!
Bob C:
2 things:
#1. I am with you on the content of your answer. You can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar.
#2. Comma fault after "gross", 2nd sentence.
@statutoryray and I,A go fuck yourselves.

P.S. You can always just not look at people you don't find pleasant to look upon, you pretentious ass pipers.
I don't give a shit if the person riding a bike is naked or not. It would just be nice if they wore a helmet, weren't texting, weren't listening to headphones, had flashing lights and reflectors, and made sure to obey the legal laws of the road. That would be nice.

Please wait...

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