I DESTROY YOUR LUGGAGE
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.
I am a disgruntled baggage handler for a major international airline, and I will punish you for selfishness and lack of respect for the rules. If you are rude or belligerent to the gate agent, my informants will eagerly tell me your name. After I get my callused, blue-collared hands on your luggage I will enthusiastically jump up and down on it with my size 12, steel-toed boots, attempting to break everything inside. My final act of petty vengeance will be to tear the handle off of your suitcase. This trophy is taken home and hung on my "Wall of Shame," above my wide screen television. So far I have 32 handles, which I believe is a record in this business. I was not always this bitter, but after so many years of being treated so disrespectfully by my employer, I loathe my job and have nothing but contempt for passengers. So, just fasten the seat belt across your "supersized" ass, shut the hell up, eat your peanuts, and pray I do not get to your luggage. Thanks for flying the friendly skies! --Anonymous