Kalah Allen
Treehugger Throw Down

To the fuckhead who set a tree on fire in the park sometime last week: You remember, the one in the playing field next to the bathrooms? That tree already survived a bolt of lightning many years ago, but had to die from something so petty as your dumb ass lighting it up. You destructive punk(s) killed a tree that sheltered my friends and I for years. We used to sit in that tree and just hang out so comfortably--we sometimes got at least 10 people up in it at a time! I just had heart surgery, and am just now strong enough to climb again--then I find out some fucko burned down my favorite tree!!! You deserve to be set on fire yourself. If you know what's good for you, you'll stay out of that park in the future, especially on Sunday afternoon. Unless of course you can explain how this was just a horrible accident or something. If that's the case, hang around the remnants of the tree on Sunday, and we'll find you and "talk." Karma is a bitch, and you will pay somehow--I just hope it's by my hand. --Anonymous