Pickin' Time

Hey folks, guess what? If I'm driving my car down the freeway in thick, slow traffic, guess what time it is? That's right--nasal maintenance time. And no, I don't mean doing a rail of yeyo off of the side of a Wild Turkey bottle. What I mean is that it's deep-sea nose pickin'-and-a-grinnin' time. That's right, I pick my nose while driving. Oh what--like YOU don't??? I suppose you've probably never farted or taken a nasty dump or masturbated either, am I right? (Oh yeah, and speaking of which, I also fart gale force winds while I'm driving, but hey, at least I'm not whacking it!) So let's make a deal: If you don't point me out to other riders, then I won't run around declaring that all you blond SUV housewives are nothing but expensive hookers, and that all you bald Audi TT convertible drivers need a little blue pill to be a man. So fuck you, bitches! Watch me dig!!!--Anonymous