Naked Hippies Suck

Berbati's as I walked past. YOU WERE BUCK FUCKING NAKED. After the bouncers threw your clothes out with you, you ran to the nearest tree and tried to climb it. You failed, and your hippie tard ass landed squarely on me. I tried to walk away with dignity, seeing as I was covered in fucking naked hippie grease and half of Portland's hipster youth cadre was laughing at me. I had just bought the jacket that you managed to defile and it was most certainly the illest piece of clothing that the world had ever seen. Now it's ruined. Why do I even try to go to rock shows and dress like the champion I am when there are legions of crusty scumfuck assclowns waiting to jump out and cover me in your fucking compost gravy and rancid male ass cheeks?--Anonymous