Kalah Allen

Why, oh, why on earth would I want to be your Friendster? I don't get it. First you pursued me. We had many common interests. There seemed to be a mutual attraction. Then, after we finally slept together, you wouldn't return a simple phone call. Then you started in on the "I'm soo busy" shtick, but kept promising you'd call. And what's that? You're still not over your ex? Why? Did you fuck around on him, causing him to dump your sorry ass, and now you're out to get sublimated revenge on all men who aren't him? Did you give him HPV too? I guess I forgot to mention that I could definitely live without venereal warts—I know, stupid me. I really wish I could thank you for it in some way, but what does one give in a situation like this? I'm just glad I contracted nothing worse. So again, after treating me like so much shit, you send me a Friendster request? What the fuck???? Do you just want another face to add to your over-inflated list so you can feel popular? Are you really that shallow? Now if there was a FOE-ster, you could count me in. —Anonymous