Kalah Allen

Why is it that whenever Portland sees some sunshine, runners come out in droves? I understand that Portland is sun-starved, but how can you not understand that it is not healthy to run at midday on the hottest day of the year? There were seriously tags for athletic apparel strewn on the sidewalks of downtown Portland, as if office workers burst out of their offices at lunchtime, ran into Niketown and changed on the sidewalk—in such haste that they could not be bothered to deposit these tags in a trash can. I see them plodding along desolate stretches of Barbur Boulevard and the Esplanade, with the heat coming up in waves off of the pavement and the sweat pouring down their flushed faces, and I wonder—why? Why not run in the morning if it is so important to you to get a workout in? Why not wait until late evening? Stop straining your body! Your heart! Your electrolyte balance! I don't hate you, my dehydrated friend, I don't—what I feel is somewhere between confusion and concern.—Anonymous