Kalah Allen

Dear idiot neighbor: I know that you fancy yourself a groovy vegan enviro half-hipster hippie, so WHY, for the love of god, do you keep fucking up our shared recycling bins? You know how we drag them out to the curb on Sunday night, and then they're still there and full on Monday night? That's because YOU filled them with shit that is NOT recyclable, that or not sorted or prepared properly. Your stinking soymilk packaging was supposed to be RINSED, and you were supposed to remove the plastic spout. Your greasy-ass pizza box is food-contaminated and not recyclable. Your glass jar/ashtray IS technically recyclable, but dear rainbow brother, you gotta dump your American Spirit butts OUT of the jar and rinse it before you put it in the bin. You're not supposed to dump cans, glass, paper, and cardboard as one huge filthy blob into one bin. Read the motherfucking guidelines posted in our common area. Or just quit pretending to give a shit. Just dump all of your garbage in the dumpsters. That way, at least the rest of our building's tenants' recycling could get picked up and actually recycled.—Anonymous