Is there some sort of shortage of birth control pills in Portland? Are ladies really hard up to find contraceptives on their own? Or are there vigilante Republicans out to sabotage my right to have sex without babies coming to my party? Cause first someone stole all my birth control pills from my bedroom during my New Year's party, and then last night someone stole my pills again from my bathroom during my BBQ party. And you stole not just one pack, but took all fucking 10 of them! I'm supposed to start my new pack today and now I'm fucked. Thanks. You could have at least left me one, asshole. Don't you know you get birth control pills for free from Planned Parenthood through the FPEP funding? Or is your snatch so nasty that you don't want to have to get the required pelvic exam? To whoever took my pills: You are a stupid bitch and god help you if I find out who you are. My only consolation is that you are presumably using them and preventing the world from being burdened with your breeding.—Anonymous