Kalah Allen
To the hip, upwardly mobile ladies who have judiciously made Portland their home: If you are going to complain about the rain and the clouds and rudely take up all the sidewalk space with your stupid fucking umbrella, go back from whence you came. I don't care if it's California or Arizona or Hawaii or Florida or the East Coast. And take your fur coat, bad hair cut, ridiculous clothes, skinny thighs, spoiled children, and pseudo green and liberal ways with you! In the last seven years I have seen you do nothing but bag on the true liberals, ruin the best bars and clubs, crowd our roads and schools, and drive up the cost of housing and a pint of beer. I'd like to see the return of used bookstores that don't contain you yelling on your cell phone, and a pint that does not cost as much as a six-pack. Oh wait, how could I forget? You have no idea I'm speaking to you. You think you are part of the "weird" Portland crowd. Stop ruining everything, and, if you can't, get out of Portland. Your friends have already ruined Seattle. Maybe you should just move there.—Anonymous