The latest advances in anti-terrorist technology could very well expose all of us to closer scrutiny. Not so much for what we are, but for what kind of meat we're packing! If the research goes well, soon we'll all be wearing horn-rim T-ray Specs, and seeing each other naked--the way Science Almighty intended!

Not to be confused with those goofy looking mail-order comic book variety X-Ray Specs, which never actually integrated X-Ray technology, T-Ray Specs will operate utilizing an "obscure yet ubiquitous form of radiation known as terahertz waves, also called T-rays." So says Senior Science Writer Robert Roy Britt.

Britt says British (no relation) scientists are hard at work on various projects using T-ray technology. Potential applications include cameras to be used in outer space, for peering into flesh to point out medical problems (cancer, etc.), and exposing terrorists who possess weapons such as explosives or handguns hidden under their burlap sack clothing. The natural step from there would be to simply look at people with clothes on and see them naked. One could not only see through clothing, but also walls, and other barriers that until now, have made us feel safe from prying eyes.

"T-rays are emitted," says Britt, "by pretty much everything." Including genitalia!

T-Ray Specs could also prove useful in dating and mating selection, as well as becoming useful technology for teenagers and perverts of both genders.

With a fashionable pair of T-Ray Specs firmly in place upon the face, 21st Century voyeurs will easily observe hidden objects or afflictions including those on the following incomplete list:

Falsies, hairy nipples, distended bellybuttons, inverted nipples, leech-like underdeveloped Siamese twins, molehill size moles, maxi-pads, tampon rip-chords, bibles, gang slut tattoos, unusual body piercings (think clampons or chopsticks), brown-in-back, yellow-in-front undergarments, girdles, butt-plugs, push-up bras, cucumbers, and even open sores!

Even parents will profit from the technology. A father's cursory glance at his daughter's new boyfriend could easily detect potential hazards such as priapism (persistent erections). The father could then beat him senseless. Conversely, a mother's cursory glance at the same individual would also reveal his priapism, and she could quickly divert the young man's attention and invite him into the kitchen for cookies (or nookies, depending on her own personal taste), keeping the daughter's virtue intact!

See? X-Rays are so passe.