TO THE MERCURY: I just wanted to let you guys in on the fact that in your last issue, you completely messed up the calendar [September Pull-Out Calendar, Aug 30]! How stupid do you have to be to notice that you put no 16th, 17th, or 18th, but you instead put in the 26th, 27th, and 28th twice!!! How drunk were you when you wrote that thing?!?!? Just because of that, I am no longer going to read your newspaper ever again and will advise my friends to do the same!!! You stupid morons. Oh, and tell Wm. Steven Humphrey to keep up with the good work, even though I will no longer be reading it. Your Ex-pal

Max Deurloo-Willard


HEY MERCURY: I caught the Quarterly Music Issue [Aug 30] and, as a writer for a music magazine, I am impressed by the clever "Cribs" story idea. Goddamnit, why didn't I think of it first? Keep up the good work.

John "Gooch" Gallucci


DEAR MERCURY: First off I think your paper has really great cover art, and I would vote for it as "best of," or "Pulitzer nominated," or "first place," if I took part in such contests. Secondly, I was wondering where your cover art comes from? Do you have local illustrious illustrators churning these gems out weekly? Or are they samples that you snag from some sort of stock art warehouse? Either way, the Portland Mercury provides great color covers every week! Keep up the high quality work.


Art Director Responds: All the covers are original artwork from artists from around the world as well as Portland locals. If you're interested in showing me cover submissions, e-mail me low-res jpeg samples at jen@portlandmercury.com, or send copies of your work to the Mercury: 1524 NW 23rd Ave, Suite 2, Portland, 97210.


DEAR EDITOR: The proposed Sit-Lie Ordinance being considered by our city council must not be passed [On My Soapbox, "It's Your Sidewalk, Too," Aug 30]! This discriminatory ordinance is bad for commuters, artists, workers, and tourists.

Portland Police and retailers want legislation to use against transient heroin junkies and "scary" punk rockers, but the Sit-Lie Ordinance hasn't eliminated these elements from Seattle, yet has diminished the quality of life for all its citizens. As a bus-commuting worker in Southwest Portland, an upstanding resident of the Hawthorne district, and a regular patron of the Pearl District on First Thursdays, I appreciate the quality of life that a vigorous pedestrian street culture in our city offers.

This ordinance will make it illegal for commuters to sit on the curb waiting for the bus at the many, many locations where benches are not provided at Tri-Met stops.

I applaud Portland retailers for their efforts at improving the city, but I believe their endorsement of the Sit-Lie ordinance is misguided. Anesthetizing our street culture will discourage tourists and other urban shoppers much more than asking them to tolerate a few bad apples among the interesting and colorful throng.

We must not give our Police the message and the tools to selectively or comprehensively enforce this discriminatory and inhumane ordinance as they see fit. Our commissioners need to protect the livability of our city by throwing out this proposal and addressing the social problems of our troubled transients in other ways. The Sit-Lie Ordinance is not a good solution, it does not address the specific problem that it is being endorsed to solve, and the cost of implementing it on our urban culture is too high.

Dedee Nugent


HEY READERS! In connection with our upcoming "Back to School" issue, we are having a "Pep Rally for Portland" and Homecoming Dance. That means Portland needs an official Homecoming Queen and King! And we're thinking that just might be YOU! Picture it YOU with a crown on your head, ruling Portland in whatever way you see fit. Oh! What a wonderful honor!

Would YOU like to be nominated for Homecoming King or Queen? Send a 150 word essay on why YOU should rule Portland to "Homecoming Court," 1524 NW 23rd Ave, Suite 2, Portland, 97210, or fill out an entry form online at:


Also include a recent photo of yourself (unless of course, you'd like us to pick one for you!) Deadline is FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 14! After choosing the finalists, the city of Portland will vote on who shall reign supreme as King and Queen!