TO THE EDITOR: I must say I was very displeased with your article on how to make a substitute bong [Back to School Issue, Sept 27]. I mastered those five things back in early high school! Shit, I know someone that turned his whole car into a bong. Can't you guys think of anything new? I would like to see a whole section dedicated to this.

Sir Smokesalot


TO THE EDITOR: Here are some alternate suggestions for Operation Infinite Justice [Operation Code Name Game, Sept 27].

Operation Desert Storm: The Next Generation
Operation Whack-a-Mole
Operation, by Milton Bradley
Operation Springtime for Osama
Operation Operation (from The Department of Redundancy Department)
Operation We Understand The Difference Between These Few Evil Terrorists Who Happen To Be Arab And Islamic (Although We Shouldn't Jump To Conclusions About That, Because The Last Terrorist Act Turned Out To Have Been Done By A White, American Guy) And The Average Arab And/Or Islamic Person, Who Is As Shocked And Horrified As We Are By The Terrorists' Actions, Because Islam Is Really A Religion Of Peace, And Who We Like And Very Much Want To Be Friends With, However, It Appears That We're Going To Have To Go Kick Some Farking Towelhead Ass, And Of Course By "Towelhead" We Mean The Evil Terrorist Types And Not The Vast Majority Of Arabs And/Or Muslims Who, As We've Stated, Are Fine, Upstanding People.



TO THE MERCURY: For an alternative newspaper, you sure reflect the spoutings of the mainstream media quite precisely. Let me see if I correctly got the gist of your article on the Lewis and Clark College Peace Gathering ["The Old College Try," Sept 27]. A few "liberal-thinking" kids got together to relive their parents' hippie rebellion, but without the real ideals and thus, in a pathetically uncertain, pointless manner. It's too bad your reporter either allowed his biases to dictate his words, or he didn't bother to get a complete perspective of our gathering, or else you might have found a more hopeful outlook on America's youth.

It's true that many college-age students today admire our parents' generation's stand against the war they faced. We weren't there, so we can never know exactly what it was like. That does not mean we cannot share their ideals and act on them in the ways we choose, without being mocked as imitators.

Active peace is the best response to today's threats on the U.S. and the whole world. And now is the BEST time to voice our objections to war, in favor of just solutions. Once the U.S. has declared war, and the government and public have made up their mind about who they can too-simply designate as good or bad, we have automatically lost, and it will be even harder for pacifists or anyone to stop the killing.

The article also seems to reveal a rather superficial and short visit to the peace gathering, which lasted most of the day and included music, student and faculty speakers for peace, letter-writing to elected representatives, a painted mural, an open mic, as well as the armbands and human peace sign. So what if we didn't all sing in harmony? Does our vocal ability somehow define our merit as activists? If each activist doesn't have a creed memorized, does that mean we have no opinions worth coming together to discuss and celebrate? We may not all agree on exactly how to carry out our response, but we know that we want to respond peacefully.

And despite varied individual applications, we did have a clear message, as stated on our 9-foot petition: We do not want the U.S. to commit further acts of violence in retaliation for the attacks of September 11. Had the reporter included more than two student statements, this would have been clear. And we did have an impact on the off-campus world, in the form of various articles covering the event in local newspapers (ahem, Mercury?).

Audrey DeCoursey

Lewis and Clark College


Hey Readers! Let's all give a whoop-dee-doo and tip o' the hat to the new Homecoming King and Queen of Portland, Amy "Ponyboy" Neymeyr and M. Lesniak! Thanks to all your votes they were officially crowned at last Friday's Mercury Homecoming Dance, and accepted their new positions as royalty with grace and appreciation. (However, they still insist that you have to do everything they say.) All hail the new King and Queen!