TO THE EDITOR: [RE: "I Anonymous," Jan 9, wherein the writer brags about stealing garden hoses to make beer bongs.] My Dad told me when I was a kid not to drink out of the hose, because lizards go in there to take shits and have lizard babies. I'm sure the folks in the high-rise office party were mightily impressed by your prowess at "speed building a beer bong before their eyes." And for my next trick, I'll put a baseball cap on backwards and drop some GHB into a woman's drink. Justified, because you made a proclamation. Moron.



TO ANNA BOND: Thanks for the good article on the Enron/PGE buyout [News, "A Live Wire," Jan 9]. One minor quibble about a major issue: I, maybe more than any other person in the region, have no interest in presiding over another large utility "like the water bureau." The plan--should the buyout take place--would be for the new, publicly owned electric utility to be governed by a regional body representative of all of Enron/PGE's territory and managed by experienced professionals.

Take it from me, don't make the same mistake again.

Erik Sten, City Commissioner


TO THE MERCURY: This is for the literary dunce who wrote to complain about the poop story ["Where Does My Poop Go?" Dec 26, Letters, Jan 8]. I quote: "There was a time when I felt sorry for you because I assumed you were one of those people that were not given the gift of wit." It's not that, dipshit, it's who. It wouldn't have been so obnoxious if the same error hadn't been repeated three times in the anonymous letter.

I have no problem with someone ragging on writers who fail to live up to real or imagined standards of excellence. I do have a problem when some self-appointed God of language can't get his/her own language straight.

Anonymous, but not illiterate


TO THE EDITOR: After reading last week's "Letters" column [Jan 9], I can't help but be amazed by the things people will write in about (myself included)! Really, being disappointed after reading an article about where Portland's poop ends up. What did they expect, the EPA's manifesto?

I would like to think that if the average person were to rent a room at a Motel 6, they wouldn't be upset if there wasn't a mint on their pillow. You get what you pay for, right? I think when a person picks up a copy of the Mercury, they pretty much know what to expect. I know I certainly do, that's why I read it every week!

Quin Rodgers


TO THE EDITOR: I have never read the Portland Mercury as I had always heard it was nothing but trash, filth, and full of garbage. After reading "Beauty School Dropout" [Feature, Marjorie Skinner, Jan 9], I see that everything I ever heard about the Portland Mercury is true.



TO THE EDITOR: Congratulations for a well written, concise commentary by Sandeep Kaushik ["War Games," Jan 2]. And, in response to Eric Slade's comments ["Letters," Jan 9], here are some of my own. First of all, Eric, either you did not read the article carefully, or you are "comprehensionally challenged."

READ THIS CAREFULLY: Most Americans are too preoccupied, uninterested, or just plain ignorant to understand or care about this situation. People have been protesting ever since Reagan (Satan) took office in 1980, and in 23 years very little has been accomplished. Mostly things have gotten worse--the environment, worker's rights and conditions and civil liberties, to name a few.

When and if mass protest in Portland and across America ever starts costing CORPORATE business owners millions of dollars daily then suddenly things will improve. As Mr. Kaushik accurately pointed out, isolated protests and fragmented strikes are ineffective. Very well meaning and hard-working protesters are trying to appeal to reason and conscience. The corporate world has little of either, and mainstream America is too "numb or dumb" to care.

Stephen Cobb

CONGRATS TO STEPHEN for winning the Mercury "Letter of the Week!" He will receive two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater, as well as the Mercury's Winter Prozac Film Series at the Clinton Street Theater. Join us this Friday at 10 pm, for Parker Posey in Party Girl! We're serving beer, hot dogs, and chili! Whoopee! More details on page 15.