I live in a nice quiet neighborhood. I like it. Did I mention it was quiet? Well it is, or rather, it was. You are killing me with your slide whistle. I know you're only like two-and-a-half-feet tall, but dude... a girl can only take so much. Since the big people in your house just moved you into the neighborhood maybe you need some pointers? Here it is: Your entire family recreates right outside my room. I know, your shitty piece of property is parceled that way, but I am on the second floor and I can hear everything you do and then some. (Like that time you had to go potty but couldn't hold it. Remember that? That was funny.) Did I mention I myself am quiet? Well I am. I am cool with all of the small-people noises you make—for the most part—but this hour-long whistle fest is too much. I don't have the balls to tell you to stop. You're small and you scare me. But please, if you can read, and you see this, I am begging you, no more slide whistle... or at least use the sliding part more often.—Anonymous
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.