New Column!

Comments

1
There are no sexy people in Portland. Who would think any Portlander is sexy? Maybe an overweight hairy gray alien that wants to feast on a yeast infection. This has got to be the weirdest request from the audience in years. Couldn't you have just waited until August when the skin is a little bronzed and a few pounds are shed? Who in their right mind would want their photo taken now? Lauderdale? Adams? Fritz? See what I mean.
2
could i just vote for myself like a thousand times?
3
I'd vote in you, but your mouth is closed in that picture.