Out of historical interest, who WAS the actual Frank Cassano? What did he do before he became an involuntary "New Column" author?

I'm guessing it was somehow connected to the Mob...do I have that right?

Mr. Cassano - develop an opinion and stick with it. You are coming across as wishy-washy. Grow a spine and stand up for yourself!

And make up your mind already about which direction your combover gets combed.

I've never been able to prove it, but I'm pretty sure Frank Cassano made a fortune fixing greyhound races back in the '70s, then bought a small island off the coast of Nicaragua. When the island sank, Frank had to move back to Portland and go back to running the family convenience store, where he became known as "Slugger Cassano" for his skill with a baseball bat (no convictions). Or I may be thinking of someone entirely different.