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Sounds like she is using her masochistic desires as an excuse to run with an old flame.
Sounds like a cunt, actually. Either dump the new flame cause he dulls her, or retrain him, but 3 months to bring him around to an EX is just asking for angst. I guess we never know what way Savage's advice will roll. I could easily see him chastising her...
I hope to do something similar with my sweet, GGG GF eventually (she's working on her insecurities) so she can see how much I love being dominated (including pain) in scene. Out-of-scene, I'm likely to tell someone who's being dominating to go F*** themselves. I can understand why she's a bit reluctant to play the Bitch Goddess, especially since she's not into pain at all.
Good answer, Dan!