I question HITME's "if he would have just told me the day he sent the pictures that he sent someone pictures of his cock, I would be okay with it!"

She mentions this over and over throughout her letter. If she is so fine about it, why is she so surprised when he does it? Why not just go with the assumption that your man is into this stuff, and you just let him have his fun? Or are you kidding yourself into thinking this is OK, when actually you aren't?