Am I Fulfilling My Potential?

Every month, here at the Self-Hell Institute in Helsinki, we receive thousands of letters from individuals just like you who are worried they may not be fulfilling their potential. This is a delicate question, and not one to be taken lightly. Many of the symptoms that may indicate a lack of potential fulfillment closely resemble those of other maladies, such as slothfulness or a predilection for the snare drum. It is only in combination that these symptoms should be taken seriously. Think you may not be fulfilling your potential? Take this simple true/false quiz and find out. Good luck.

T F When I get junk mail, I open it and read it.

T F I have protested, in writing, the cancellation of a TV show.

T F I have a master's degree and I have to wear a hairnet to work.

T F I wait tables so I have my days free to work out at the gym.

T F I have, in the past week, quoted from the La Femme Nikita website.

T F I am dating someone who calls me "baby."

T F I shoplift CDs for a living.

T F My name is Hugh Rodham.

T F I am over 25 and have more than two roommates who are related to me.

T F I am over 25 and have two roommates who are my parents.

T F I just purchased the Official Strategy Guide to Baldur's Gate.

T F I thought about going to college, but the application was too hard.

T F I live in Beaverton.

T F I have been described as "lackadaisical."

T F I don't know what "lackadaisical" means.

T F I look at rehab as an opportunity to meet like-minded people.

T F I am having someone else fill this quiz out for me.

T F I wish you would just get off my back.

T F I write for the Portland Mercury.

If you answered True to 10 or more questions, it is possible that you may not be fulfilling your potential. Purchase The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People immediately, and start telling your family that you are "working on a novel." People with unfulfilled potential get along well with dogs, small children, and high-school math teachers. They usually end up as carnies, rock stars, or convicts. Some find relative success as hand models.