Am I News Savvy?

So, you are enjoying a rather lovely dinner party when your host makes a passing reference to something or someone from the news. You freeze. Do you pretend to know who Osama bin Laden is? Or do you admit that you haven't read a newspaper since sophomore civics? Perhaps it is time to take the plunge and turn on Headline News. But is it really necessary? Or do you know enough to fake it? Take this easy multiple-choice quiz and find out! Good luck!

According to astronomers at Johns Hopkins University, averaging all the colors from the light of 200,000 galaxies shows that the current color of the universe is:
A. green
B. black
C. a dark blue that looks black
D. color doesn't exist in a vacuum, stupid

On Thursday, the U.S. military began moving hooded and chained prisoners from the war in Afghanistan to...
A. a jail in Cuba
B. Alcatraz
C. Pioneer Square
D. work as seat fillers at the Golden Globes

Jurors finished hearing a case considering the fate of a dad who beat another dad to death over an incident at their sons'...
A. hockey game
B. spelling bee
C. Real World audition
D. commitment ceremony

The firm that audited the books of collapsed Enron Corp., Arthur Andersen LLP, disclosed Thursday that a "significant but undetermined" number of documents related to the company had been...
A. destroyed
B. left on an airplane
C. made into origami swans
D. stolen by a "Negro with a gun"

If you answered A to three or more of the above, congratulations, you are news savvy! If not, you have been spending too much time reading the Mercury and not enough time studying the Wall Street Journal. News savvy people get along well with NPR listeners, Charlie Rose, and people who do The New York Times crossword. They also tend to die early from stress.