Do I Have Houseguests?

It's summer in the Great Northwest, a time of year when kinfolk flock from far asunder to frolic in the City of Roses. Do you have kinfolk? Are they visiting you from out of town? Take this easy true/false quiz and find out! Good luck!

T F There are used glasses in the sink.

T F The bed in the guestroom is unmade.

T F The bed in the guestroom is made, and I didn't make it.

T F Someone has put Coors Light in my fridge.

T F The dog is acting funny.

T F Someone keeps borrowing my car.

T F I hear voices in the next room.

T F The books are out of alphabetical order.

T F The phone is off its charger.

T F The dishes are done the night they're dirtied.

T F The cat has disappeared.

T F When I went to take a shower this morning, there was no hot water.

T F I keep finding myself touring Portland landmarks.

T F The weather has been ideal.

T F I haven't been to work in three days.

T F I am more conscious of my public nudity.

T F I have eaten out for five of my last six meals.

T F I find that I have a sudden knowledge of Portland history.

T F My feet hurt.

T F I have been downtown more in the past three days than I have in the past three months.

T F My home has been dusted.

T F I have been watching less TV.

T F I have a vague memory of going to the airport.

T F I keep trekking up hills to look at the city skyline.

T F I haven't smoked pot since Wednesday.

Did you answer "true" to ten or more of the above? Careful! You may have houseguests! Houseguests like to be taken to Multnomah Falls, Timberline Lodge, and the Coast. They do not like to be taken to scary parts of North Portland, your friends' houses, or the emergency room. Most houseguests disappear in three to five days. If you find that you have houseguests longer than that, consider putting out glue traps.