Kalah Allen

To those of you who say things like, "gin and tonic, heavy on the gin," "Jack and coke, mostly Jack," and of course the classic "I'll have a Strong Island iced tea, and make it strong" when you're ordering a drink from me, let me tell you how I interpret that as your bartender: What you're really saying is "even though I don't know you, I want you to pour me free booze." And of course, in turn, I then pour you a drink with about a teaspoon of alcohol in it. Next time you order a drink that way, make sure to tell the bartender where you work so that he or she can visit you at your place of employment to ask you for some free shit. Want good drinks? Here's how to do it: Be polite. This starts by refraining from insinuating before your bartender even picks up a bottle that he or she will pour you a weak drink, or suggesting that you should get more than what you're paying for. Next, tip the bartender. I know it hurts, but just do it. You'll get those strong drinks you covet without coming across like a cheap, spoiled brat. And always remember: Asking for a strong drink = getting a weak drink.—Anonymous