Look, I know you don't know much about the harmonica, but really, "Piano Man"? C'mon, that's like the first song I ever learned to play on the harp. Billy Joel wrote a whole song about the piano but made the harmonica the centerpiece. How can I respect that? And what's up with you wanting me to play MORE Blues Traveler? I can't breathe that fast, especially since you no longer bother to do your hair up nice when you come over, so I'm just not excited by your sight anymore. In fact, if you ask me to play the Romantics' "What I Like about You" for your friends one more time while you're drunk, I'm going to scream. For Pete's sake, I told you the song was in the key of E, not A, but you still don't understand the concept of cross harp, do you? Yet you still insist on grabbing the wrong key harp and screeching through the song, EVEN AFTER I TURN THE STEREO OFF! All this, after dating for five months. You'd think you'd care by now. But you don't. So I'm going to go blow some blues now. Alone.—Anonymous