Okay, I get it. You're robbing me. You're looking for something, anything of value. But did you have to make such a fucking mess?

Honestly, the contents of my glove compartment were so evenly distributed around the cabin, it seemed almost by design... like you were topping a pizza. I mean, it must have taken more effort scattering my belongings than searching through them. And all you got for your effort was two dollars in quarters and a ballpoint pen. (You took my pen? Really? What for? To write yourself a reminder note? "Check back: this guy keeps quarters!") Meanwhile, you missed the gorilla suit in the trunk, which is actually worth something.

Also, next time, how about fully closing the door so that the cabin light doesn't drain my battery? Just because you're a thief doesn't mean you have to be an inconsiderate asshole.