Portland Dating Dispatch is a site for posting your ANONYMOUS true dating stories. Weird stories, happy stories, sad stories, flippin’ INSANE stories—almost anything goes! EXCEPT FOR THE FOLLOWING, which will insure your submission does not get approved for submission:

  • NEVER USE REAL NAMES. Yours or anyone else involved. That goes for businesses, too.
  • NO HATE TALK ALLOWED. What’s “hate talk”? That’s for us to decide. (Sorry, but it’s our party, and we only invite decent human beings.) But more specifically, if your submission denigrates women, sexualities, people of color, or the downtrodden, your submission will be rejected. (Yep, even if it’s just a little bit.)
  • YOUR SUBMISSION CAN’T GO OVER 200 WORDS. We don’t have all day.
  • NO GIBBERISH. Put a little effort into what you write. It doesn’t have to be Dostoyevsky, or have perfect grammar, but make it readable. One or two sentence confessions will be rejected unless they’re super funny.
  • NO BUTTHOLE COMMENTERS. Butthole commenters—people who troll, use overly foul language, purposefully start fights, go off topic, or threaten—are not allowed. If you see such a comment, hit the report button and, if it falls into the above category (not just something you disagree with), we’ll delete it as soon as possible.

If your story is accepted for submission, we’ll post it ASAP. (Be patient, especially if you’re writing at two in the morning.) By submitting your dating story you are giving the Portland Mercury permission to show everyone how awesome you are and publish your submission in our print version or blog. Got questions? Send them to