"Can I kiss them?" he asked.
Um, eeew? Now, I don't know about all you 10-cent hussies, but a good church girl like me isn't about to show her ta-tas to anyone who asks. I mean, what are you boys thinking? That I'm going to say yes?
Sadly, it is not only strangers who have made such conversational blunders. How can I forget my high school sweetheart, who referred to my nipples as "innies" after a hot shower? And of course there was that boy who begged me to jump up and down so he could watch my boobs bounce while he compulsively grabbed his crotch. You can bet that turned me on. I have also been asked to insert a number of things up myerr birth canal, including, but not limited to: action figures, hard candy, drumsticks, and various pieces of large fruit. And no, they didn't even think to bring any KY. Tsk tsk.
I was most scarred when, at the tender age of 17, I wound up in a parked car with a boy who told me my boobs were "really soft." In a bad way. Ouch. Did I mention that he had the tiniest little Chihuahua penis I had ever encountered? No, 'cause I've got a little thing called tact. Might want to look into that, boys. Usually comes in a twin-pack with something called maturity. You may have heard of it.