All Hail the A/V Geek

While most of us remember the high school A/V geek as the nerd who set up the classroom projector (who could also be found shoved headfirst in the boy's room garbage can after I finished my second-period smoke break) this A/V geek is somewhat different. Skip Elsheimer is an avid collector of old hilarious 16mm educational films discovered at yard sales, school auctions, and thrift stores. His awe-inspiring collection contains over 13,000 films which run the gamut from driver's ed. snuff films to ABC After-school specials--and on Thursday Elsheimer will be sharing some choice examples of his immense collection, includingÉ

1) A film about the importance of high school marching bands, sponsored by Oscar Meyer! 2) Kids are transformed into giant ears for a short entitled Are You Listening? 3) The VD Plan of Attack, which contains necessary information for at least three-quarters of our readers. 4) The infamous Planned Parenthood film about teaching sex education to the mentally handicapped. WOW. And 5) So very much more!

Trust me--this is one A/V Geek you're gonna love. WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY

Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, 238-8899, Thursday, October 23, ONE NIGHT ONLY! 7 & 9 PM, $6

Drag Dance Partay!

Portland's favorite energetic drag kings, DK PDX, seemed to pop out of nowhere. Armed with strap-ons and men's suits, they stormed the Skervy scene at the Cobalt. Then, poof! They seemed to creep into remission, leaving the city bereft of any half-decent live reenactments of cock sucking. (Damn it!) Now they're back and even more adorable than they were the first time around. They've crowned themselves a few new kings to ogle, for one thing, and having seen the photos, all I can say is cuuuuute!

They've also gone multimedia on your asses, and their oncoming performance will extend into a late night dance party with queer DJs. They promise the DJs will also be cuuuuuute! DK PDX has also taken on the time tested, guaranteed crowd-pleasing, cornerstone of live entertainment: synchronized dancing! Seriously, think about it; unison never gets old. MARJORIE SKINNER

Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 239-7639, Sunday, October 26, 8 pm sharp! $5 sliding

Dessert Dim Sum, Plus!

Lowbrow and highbrow; I am consistently polarized between the two. Breakfast steak at Holman's or clean, fluffy pancakes at the Bijou? An atomic vodka tonic at the Sandy Hut, or a painstakingly prepared chocolate hazelnut martini at the 820 Lounge? Give me either and I'm just as happy. Tonight, however, comes the perfect marriage of both.

Imagine this: It's the Eagle's Lodge. Inside you find such raucous activities as apple bobbing, a runway costume contest (make sure to dress up), and for those with either voices or feelings of steel, gong show karaoke. But when you sidle up to one of the Lodge's million tables, what do you encounter? A couple of lipstick-stained glasses and a half eaten basket of peanuts?

No. In the spirit of fun and "yum," Pix Patisserie will be tempting you with dim sum carts, all teeming with fabulous, ultra decorative "patisseries," plus your choice of sweet dessert wines or splendid Belgium beers. Each plate costs one to three bucks, and entry into this carnival of activities is only another three smackeroos. You'll be enjoying a stylish tiramisu with hair matted and unstyled from apple bobbing. You'll be pondering the complex flavors of a port, while wondering why they're not gonging that Alanis Morissette-singing hack right off the stage. It's not often the best of both worlds combine this sweetly, so enjoy. KATIE SHIMER

Eagle's Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne, 232-7505, Saturday, Oct 25th, 8 pm, $3. Tickets at Pix, Pastaworks, Navarre, & Portland Farmer's Market

Showtune Showdown

We all love a great deal. And we all love booze. And, of course, we all love SHOWTUNES!!! So for a mere $20, Portland Center Stage and your friends at the Mercury have cooked up a night that includes a ticket to one of the hottest musicals around, Bat Boy The Musical, as much booze as you can drink, free food, and a chance to sing your stupid lungs out and win big prizes at the post-show Karaoke Showtune Showdown. Hosted by none other than the Mercury's own eternally hopped up editor, Wm. Steven Humphrey, this hee-larious competition will give you a chance to belt, warble, or croon any number of Broadway and movie showtunes from throughout the ages. An emotionally charged version of "Memories" from Cats? Yes! A hiphop version of "The Sound of Music"? Sure, why not? It's your night to shine and a great night out to the theater, with tons of added value. Even if you don't like showtunes or competition, you'll still be allowed to sing whatever you want (including Taylor Dane's "Tell It To My Heart"). You'd be stupid not to comeÉ and we know you're not stupid. BRIAN BRAIT

Bat Boy The Musical & Karaoke Party/Showtune Showdown, Newmark Theater, 1111 SW Broadway, 274-6588, Tuesday, Oct. 28th, 7pm, $20