You can talk a lotta smack about the Vans Warped Tour, but things are looking up this year. Mainly, it ain't quite the bro-dominant sausage fest of years past. (Though, for all the Lillixes and Eyelineres, it's still pretty cock-centric.)

BONUS: Alkaline Trio! Atmosphere!

EXTRA BONUS: Realizing Coheed and Cambria will ANNOY THE LIVING HELL OUT OF ANYONE OVER 17, the suits set up some decent non-music entertainment: Take Action will be passing out anti-suicide propaganda; there's the air-conditioned "Reverse Daycare" tent with cold drinks and films; they gotz the "Girlz Garage" with DJz and other stuffz; and there's the Digital Media Pavilion where you can dotcom web-link wireless modemmadness sign-on interface!

FINAL BONUS: If none of that gets you, think of the Warped as a big ol' county fair. What's the bestest thing about county fairs? It's not the food; it's not the shitty rides, it's--yep--people-watching. But instead of creepy polygamists from Gresham, you'll get punk kids at their most hormonal and awkward--half Delia's catalog, half post-trench-coat-mafia goth-fusion. I'm lovin' it! ADAM GNADE

Columbia Meadows, 63701 Columbia River Highway, 224-8499, Sunday, July 11, 1pm, $27.50 advance (or win tickets through this week's Prize Fight! See page 61.)

5D Gets Poly Dimensional

Close your eyes, and imagine a night of all-star musicians performing in an environment created by over 15 hip visual artists. Now open them and witness 5D, an installation whose opening night promises one of the most dense and entertaining arts events of the year.

The 5D environment is provided by pieces from artists like Slim Moon and Marne Lucas, and the result is creative, bizarre, and sometimes funny. For instance, Todd Johnson's piece, which involves an Impala and handmade "gangster goblets" (gaudy, jewel encrusted cups for blinging Gs). Other oddities include Bruce Conkle's large Nordic battle hammers, fashioned out of aluminum foil, and a "homemade carnival ride" created by Michael Bland modeled on a Russian flight simulator. Hilariously, Cynthia Star's piece depicts an old man riding a Rascal, using the time-honored medium of papier-mâché. Curator Ryan Suther constructed a wall installation based on the experience of having found the body of a young woman under a bridge.

As if that's not intriguing enough, opening night will be DJ'd by Selector Dub Narcotic (aka Calvin Johnson), and features performances by the Wrangler Brutes, Glass Candy, and Hustler White--an amazing show in its own right. You convinced or what? MARJORIE SKINNER

Hall Gallery, 630 SE 3rd, Saturday, July 10, 7 pm, $5, BYOB, installation through August 10th, Saturdays, 1-3 pm