The Mercury Online Auction

Auction ends 5 pm friday!

Our yearly holiday auction expires this FRIDAY, DEC 17 at 5 pm, and all the proceeds go to the Bradley-Angle House (supporting victims of domestic violence). So get on and start bidding NOW!

1) WIN A DATE WITH THE MERCURY GIRLS. A night of cocktails, dancing, and chatting with 10 female Mercury employees. Hot-cha-cha!

2) THE ORIGINAL MANUSCRIPT OF CHUCK PALAHNIUK'S FIGHT CLUB. Original "foul matter" manuscript of Fight Club, with editor notes.

3) DINNER AND TUTORIAL FROM WORLD CHAMP POKER PLAYER ANNIE DUKE. Spend an evening with the top rated woman poker champ in the world, have dinner, get a poker tutorial.

4) LEARN SWEET PASTRY SECRETS FROM THE PASTRY MASTERS. Six hours of chocolate tasting and instruction from Pix Patisserie, plus an 8'' dessert.

5) DAY OF ACTION WITH WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY. Choice of one: three rounds in a boxing ring, a round of golf, or an afternoon of skeet shooting!

6) DJ CAUCASIAN SPINS FOR YOUR DANCE PARTY. And she plays the music of your choice!

7) GUEST APPEARANCE ON THE FAMOUS MYSTERIOUS ACTOR SHOW. A walk-on guest spot on this bi-monthly improv talk show parody.

8) AN 18-INCH CHEESE PIZZA PER MONTH FOR A YEAR. From Bella Faccia Pizza! Yum!

9) FANCY DINNER WITH MERCURY PUBLISHER. Rob Crocker treats you to a fancy dinner and an earful of Mercury anecdotes.

10) 3-D VIEWMASTER SET BY LOCAL ARTIST VLADIMIR. Viewmaster and reels from a local artist. Check out for a better sneak peek!

11) ADVERTISING BRANDING CAMPAIGN FOR YOUR BUSINESS. Get your business moving with the help of R/West Advertising and PR!

12) LUNCH, BANANA PIE, AND CITY HALL TOUR WITH SAM ADAMS. Lunch and a tour with the new councilman.

13) PHIL BUSSE SCRUBS YOUR TUB. Mercury managing editor scrubs your bathroom.

14) LIVING CHRISTMAS TREE. Your choice of a six-foot sequoia or Sitka spruce from Pistils!

15) DESIGN THE COVER OF THE MERCURY. Release your inner artist!

16) YOUR BAND OPENS AT SABALA'S. An opening slot for your band at Sabala's, and a write up in "My, What a Busy Week."

17) MOTORCYCLE GANG SPEED PACKAGE. Local motorcycle gang takes you and a pal for a tour of Portland and a fast ride around the racetrack.

18) DAMN GOOD BLAZER TICKETS. Two tickets to see the Blazers and the Spurs on Dec 30.

19) NEW YEAR'S PACKAGE OF FUN. Calendars, coffee, and yoga!

20) McSWEENEY'S "LITERATURE IS AWESOME" PACKAGE. Bundles of McSweeney's books.

21) GET KIDNAPPED BY MARJORIE SKINNER. Mercury's resident kidnapping specialist!

22) THE VIVA LAS VEGAS TOUR. Local luminary Viva Las Vegas gives a strip club tour.

23) PRIVATE BACKROOM PARTY AT SLABTOWN. A party for you and 30 friends, plus beer and eats!

24) TUBE BARTENDING LESSON. Drink mixing tips from the hotties at Tube.

25) LUXURIOUS SPA FOOT TREATMENT. Donated by Dragontree Day Spa.


27) GILT JEWELRY COLLECTION. Designed and crafted locally by women artists.

28) COOTIE WAXING SESSION. Advice and a wax from Bare.

29) 5 HOURS OF RECORDING STUDIO TIME. Courtesy of Insta-Fame Recording!

30) A HALO 2 PARTY. Play Halo 2 with Mercury's Erik and your friends at Backspace.

31) A CD PROMOTIONAL BOOKLET AUTOGRAPHED BY THE DARKNESS. Signed by the British heavy metal band! Cor blimey!

32) PICNIC AND HORSE 'N' CARRIAGE TOUR. Thanks to Rose City Carriage and Half & Half.

33) PERSONAL SPA TREATMENT. Almost three hours of pampering from Ruby Violet spa.

34) HAIRCUT A MONTH FOR A YEAR. Courtesy of Bishop's Barbershop!

35) FEATURE STORY BY JUSTIN WESCOAT SANDERSÉ ABOUT YOU! A 1200-word story about you by the Mercury writer.

36) AN HOUR OF TATTOOING. From Oddball Studios.

37) PARTY WITH THE PORTLAND DRAG KINGS. Local drag group takes you for a night on the town.

38) A GRAB BAG OF INDIE ROCK TREATS. The Von Bondies set of six square pins, an autographed poster of John Doe (formerly of X), and more!

39) ROMANTIC DINNERS FOR TWO. Four meals (thanks to The Farm, and clarklewis), and drinks from the Slow Bar.

40) BIG GAY GIFT PACK. Fun porno toys!

41) BAR CRAWL WITH KATIE SHIMER. A night on the town with Katie.

42) BOWLING PARTY FOR SIX. Plus food and soda at AMF Pro 300.

43) MERCURY DISTRO DRIVERS MOVE YOUR STUFF. Three hours of moving whatever!

44) FLYER AUTOGRAPHED BY ROB ZOMBIE. Handbill signed by the rocker.

45) ZAC PENNINGTON MIXES THE ULTIMATE CHRISTMAS CD. Mercury music editor handpicks a CD full of weird X-mas songs.

46) THE TOP 10 CDS OF 2004. As picked by Ozone 3 Records.

47) LIMITED EDITION PAUL FRANK BAG. Individually numbered Elvis guitar-shaped bag.


49) DARK HORSE COMICS GIFT BASKET. Ghost in the Shell, The Art of Sin City, and The Art of Hellboy. Plus, PVC sculptures based on Tim Burton's creepy/cute characters, and cool Hellboy figures!

50) 10 CASES OF RED BULL. That's 240 cans. Wow.

So what are you waiting for?! Auction ends Friday at 5 pm, so bid now at


Portland's New Hiphop Cafe

Open Now

The corner of N Interstate and Webster just got a lot brighter. Over the past month or so, hiphop culture enthusiasts Sara Moskovitz and Shannon Gutherie have toiled to establish Wax--North Portland's new hiphop cultural center, club, and café--as a positive, late-night alternative with regular classes and club nights. Gutherie--a serious DJ and breakdancer since the early '90s--conceived the community space with Moskovitz as direct means of fostering Portland's already active hiphop scene. Wax offers weekly breakdancing classes (Wed 6:30-8 pm) followed by open floor sessions, reggae and hiphop club nights (Thurs and Sat at 9 pm, respectively), emcee battles (Sun at 9 pm), and two open mic nights (stand-up comedy on Tues, poetry on Friday). Wax also doubles as an all ages café--serving a wide selection of fluid fares like coffee, smoothies, and bubble teas. A welcomed, positive crutch for Portland's all ages music community. ZAC PENNINGTON

Wax, 5101 N Interstate, 283-9093. Visit for more information.

Rock 'N' Roll Hair Show


Hairstyles and rock music are inextricably linked. And tonight, you can get a glimpse of what the future holds for this marvelous marriage of pop culture and style. Local hipster stylists from Bishops Barbershops are unleashing The Rock n' Roll Hair Fashion Show. Full of brilliant hair dos, clothes, and music, the event is a six-hour orgy of cool. Real rockers abound tonight, with garage darlings The Makers, The Punk Group (Portland's answer to DEVO), and the grimy, stylish howls of Lovely. And that's just the live music. This extravaganza will also be aurally hosted by all of five friggin DJs! Count 'em: Evil-1, Sneakers, Kitman, Stay In School, and Moisti! The whole shindig is hosted by Miss Popular, Daria O'Neill, and for all the entertainment and eye candy, it's a ridiculously cheap ticket. Plus, all the proceeds are going to the PDX Fashion Incubator, a fabulous non-profit that assists local clothing designers at all levels of their careers. Hair heaven, here we come. MARJORIE SKINNER

Roseland, 8 NW 6th, Fri, Dec 17, 8 pm, $5-7