I demand to be taken seriously.
"I demand to be taken seriously." jctabb / Shutterstock.com

So maybe you watched Hillary's foreign policy speech yesterday (or maybe you just read Dan's play-by-play). It was pretty great! With tough language and highly confident delivery, it was a perfect demonstration of why Hillary would be a great president.

Unfortunately, it was also a perfect demonstration of why she might not get the chance.

Large swaths of the speech were devoted to excoriating Donald Trump and pointing out his flaws: He's unreliable, he's short-tempered, he's too sensitive, and he's basically an idiot. Sensible people will watch the speech and think, "Hey, Hillary's pretty great." Insensible people β€” by which I mean, a likely majority of American voters β€” will watch and think, "Hey, she's right β€” Donald Trump is pretty great."

"He's not just unprepared β€” he's temperamentally unfit to hold an office that requires knowledge, stability and immense responsibility," she said. This might sound like tough talk to you, but to the nuts flocking to Trump rallies, it's just another shrill old lady scolding their big awesome friend. Who does this annoying lady think she is?

Hillary described Trump's platform as "bizarre rants, personal feuds and outright lies." Yeah! That's right, and it's why people like him! Rants, feuds, and lies are fun! Hillary has correctly identified the reasons why Trump is so popular, and now she thinks that reminding people of those reasons will hurt him? Um...

"He says he has foreign policy experience because he ran the Miss Universe pageant in Russia," she said. "The stakes in global statecraft are infinitely higher and more complex than in the world of luxury hotels."

Again, this is a list of reasons why people are going to vote for him. Running the Miss Universe pageant is cool. Owning luxury hotels is awesome. In contrast, Hillary can boast a near-encyclopedic knowledge of international affairs, an asset that would be a tremendous boon as president but is a colossal liability as a presidential contestant β€”Β at least this year.

"This is a man who said that more countries should have nuclear weapons, including Saudi Arabia. This is someone who has threatened to abandon our allies in NATO, the countries that work with us to root out terrorists abroad before they strike us at home," Clinton said.

These observations are absolutely correct, and also absolutely boring.

I'm in a panic over this speech because it seems to demonstrate that Hillary's campaign still thinks she's running for president, rather than for the finalist on a reality show.

"This isn't reality television," she said around the conclusion. "This is actual reality."

Oh God no, Hillary, no it is not. Haven't you been paying attention to this election? There's no such thing as actual reality anymore.