HEY THERE, BUSY BEE! I am fully aware that you've been waaaay too busy to fill out that ballot, but it's crunch time. The election is TODAY and you must either drop your ballot in one of the many boxes scattered around the city, OR if you must mail it, make sure it's post-marked TODAY (Nov 8) so it will be counted.
"But... but... I don't have time," I hear you meekly squeal. Actually, YOU DO! Simply grab our handy-dandy Mercury Voter Cheat Sheet, and that daunting ballot can be filled out in less than five minutes! And it's really important that you do. The red wave of Republicans (the party of domestic terrorists) are working hard to take away the rights and protections that we've worked so hard to achieve... and even here in blue Portland, sham Democrats—such as the wealthy developers, realtors, and lobbyists around town—want to claim complete control over City Hall. Trust me when I say that they don't give a single shit about the needs of underserved and voiceless Portlanders; they just want to go back to making the wads of money that they enjoyed pre-pandemic. And they will say anything and steamroll over anyone to get it, and then once again promptly forget all about the people who helped them get there. So what can you do? VOTE FOR JO ANN HARDESTY (the only council member still speaking out against citywide oppression) and SAY "YES" TO CHARTER REFORM (which will make it exponentially harder for power brokers to purchase City Council).
Thanks for being a thoughtful Portlander who cares about EVERYONE—not just the wealthy. And be sure to join the Mercury Election Strike Force TONIGHT for our election live blog starting at 7 pm. There you'll find all the latest election results as well as our sassy-ass LIVE reports from local election parties! LET'S DO THIS, CITIZENS!