Patty is the sweetest girl in the whole wide world! Her heart is pure gold. Her sweetness only extends to a certain point, though. If you don't dance at parties, or if--god forbid--you dress badly, she's a downright bitch. For example, her fashion no-nos:

- Beige: "No beige shoes, pants, faux fur coats, shirts, or any combination of those. This is NOT a color. Especially unflattering if your hair and skin match your beige outfit."

- Low Rise Pants: "No thongs hanging out the back, and no guts hanging out the front."

- No fake vintage shirts from Old Navy, The Gap, Forever 21--"The list goes on and on..."

- Platform /Chunky Boots: "You're not goth, and they're not flattering. Unless you're wearing them with satin hot pants, then yes, that shit is hot!"

- Black Turtlenecks With Black Leather Jackets: "Are you an actor from NYC 1997, magically transported through time? No? Then please, stop it."

Misty Czillinger
From Retrospect
1534 NE Alberta

Misty runs Retrospect, one of the cutest little boutiques in town, on the bustling mini fashion row, 15th and Alberta. She hates having her photo taken--a shame considering all those snappy outfits she's sporting. But if we can't have photo documentation of all Misty's fashion successes, we can at least take her advice:

- "I'm a firm believer in layers. I like to wear dresses, but I don't like to freeze my ass off. Go for short pants under dresses, or slips over jeans."

- "Put a flower in your hair, or if you don't have hair, tape it to your head."

- "Wear more wrist cuffs (those thick leather or metal bracelets)."

- "Buy locally or handmade if possible; and try making clothes yourself."

- "And wear aprons!" a