RosyCross

From Terrifick

It takes RosyCross roughly four millennia to doll up for a rock show. And, in between performances, RosyCross can be found scanning for the next costume. RosyCross thinks:

- DO deviate from the status quo: "Hipster conformity is dull and static. Know thyself."

- DO rock the "Vato" style: "Sport starched baggies, Nike Cortez, hairnets, rattails, sprayed-high bangs. It'll make émigrés from down south feel more at home."

- DO dress down in skinhead gear: "Especially fringe cuts for the ladies. Political violence is stupid but violent fashion is fabulous."

- DO get morning coffee in sweats: "Wearing your loungewear or pajamas in public shows others you are a real person."

- DO leave the rock-star costumes onstage: "Unless the world is your theater--then you better make sure you put on a good fucking show."

Malati Rossington

From Death Strike & Rock 'N' Bowl

Grand Central Bowling

808 SE Morrison

Even through the bowling-alley bar's dim light, Malati can spot a fashion faux pas with the precision of a hawk. Don't do this:

- DON'T fall: "If you can only walk in high heels like a two-week strung-out whore in jail, you should not wear heels at all."

- DON'T flash: "Do not show your pussy or your little chubby in public--not fashionable."

- DON'T suck it in: "Do not wear excessively tight pants unless you have a nice crotch or you're trying to make people uncomfortable."

-DON'T show us your long-ass toes: "If you have long ass toes, do not wear open sandals with your toes hanging over--plain vulgar."

- DON'T care: "Don't give a fuck what everyone thinks of you--but if you don't have the confidence, I'll be standing by with the vet's phone number in case the cat scratches get infected."