From Chopsticks Express

2651 E. Burnside

Darryl's a KJ on the other side of town. He's pretty mellow, but you can't just act like you were raised by wolves every time you step up to sing. The following behaviors break the KJ code of etiquette:

• DON'T get an ego: "You're not going to rock the house any more than the person who sang 'Heartbreaker' two nights ago."

• DON'T waste paper: "Don't turn in a billion slips. If someone hands me more than one slip, I'm going to pick the one that I want to hear."

• DON'T surprise me: "Don't unexpectedly jump off a chair or do a back-flip off the wall."

• DON'T say "musical break" out loud: "Everyone always thinks they're the first person to do that."

• DON'T forget KJs are human beings: "Yeah, we're button pushers and our job is very mechanical. But with a job that's so intimately involved with other people's fun, interaction is really essential."

Brad T. Bush

From the Boiler Room

228 NW Davis

Brad's a KJ. Sounds like a pretty kick-ass job, right? Well apparently, even KJs experience periodic dissatisfaction. Here is a list of his karaoke demands:

• DO tip: "The bigger the tip, the sooner your song will come up."

• DO sing original songs: "But the song shouldn't be super obscure, it has to have been on the radio at some point."

• DO respect the equipment: "We've had to shut down the whole thing because someone was swinging the mic and broke it. If you're that dip-shit, you're not going to be very popular."

• DO be patient: "It's a virtue, especially on the weekends. And pestering us isn't going to help."

• DO buy us drinks: "We have one of the few jobs where we're actually allowed to drink. If nothing else, it will soften our judgment."