Last night I was turned onto quite possibly the greatest invention of the texting age: Cha Cha. You have a question? Text it to 242-242 and some magical person on the other end will send you back an answer. Sounds simple enough, right? But why is this any better than, say, Google on an iPhone? Well, just look how last night's drunken texting went down:

Q: How can I be a total badass like Batman?
A: To be like Batman you should eat right and work to gain more muscle mass. Use exercises that use the whole body. Swimming is good.

Q: How can I get a girlfriend?
A: Show the prospective female that you're fascinated with her intellect, in addition to her sexual or physical desirable traits.

Q: How can I get two girlfriends?
A: Ask two women out separately. If they both say yes you have two girlfriends.

Q: Who is the most wicked sweet guitar player of all time?
A: Rolling Stone considers Jimi Hendrix to be the best guitar player of all time.

Q: How can I get Bruce Springsteen to be my friend?
A: You could write him a nicely worded letter!

See?! Next time you're at the bar and want to know why Morrissey is so sad all the time, why Jim Morrison was such a turd, or why Frank Black got so fat, Cha Cha will have an answer! Amazing!

If anybody needs me, I'm going to be off writing a nicely worded letter.