Big Boi just announced a national tour without a Portland date. Oh, but he's got time to stop in, I dunno, ARCATA, a hippie college town with a population of just 20,000! Are you fucking kidding me? Sure, they grow a lot of pot down here, but Big Boi, if the sticky-icky is a sticking point we'll fill a fucking trailer full of it for you take. We'll build you a strip club out of hash if that's what it takes.

Other cities on the tour not including Portland: Salt Lake (there ain't nothing but dirt weed out there, I promise you!), Seattle (like Portland but worse and further away), Iowa City (what's here? I don't know. No one does.), Fontana, CA (uhhh, what? Is this Californian for LA?). Either way, I'm still most angrily dumfounded by fucking Arcata!

This is bullshit. And only one thing could make up for it: a visit from Outkast proper.