I agree, all other bar trivia in Portland is insignificant, especially Geeks Who Drink. Attending said trivia is akin to buying your produce at Walmart. Support your local Quiz master! All hail Smallwood! True fact: I have named both of my daughters Roy in honor of the first and only quiz king of PDX.

I'm hella turgid. This is only the third thing anyone ever wrote about me that didn't piss me off. One time my mom left a note in my lunchbox that said she loved me, but that was totally gay. Then I got a sweet, front-page-of-Metro Oregonian article in '06, but even that made me out to be something of a fuckup. You're gonna think I'm making this up, but tonight someone told me that "Marjorie Skinner" is a collective pseudonym of staff writers and not an actual person! Shit ya not. I NEVER offer up questions off the clock, but I'll make this one exception just because I got stoked by this write-up. Ready? True or false - I'm naked right now, and I'm touching it.