Extras May 22, 2013 at 4:00 am



Ian I love you! never leave!
Ian, I love you too, but were you high when you wrote this:

"even someone's dad folding a pile of Lee Dungarees before church"?

Huh? Also, how high were you?
Consistently the best thing in the Mercury. You hear me, Mercury higher-ups!? Give this man a raise!
Portland is very ambitious. Do you know how much effort goes into dressing up as Waldo? Let alone finding him?
This is probably the single best thing I've ever read in this rag, actually. Bravo, Ian!
I was completely sober when I wrote this, but I do smoke a decent amount of pot.

The dad folding Lee dungarees before church is the person most likely to tell you some dumb joke, and even HE thinks its a dumb joke to call Portland unambitious.
^^^If you gots to explain a joke its a hack joke.
Why do I still need to tell you this Ian?
Here's how unambitious P-town is: Some guy who's biggest claim to fame is being an extra on portlandia feels the need to self appoint himself as Town Crier.

Note to Clowntown- you will cease and desist from your frantic spray pissing on karmel. Thats my job.
Ok beatdown over.
Ian you need to try harder and represent. Aint nobody else funny SOMETIMES in PDX.
@I'mrightyerwrong... i believe his rather sad diatribe is directed towards me. Must be difficult not having a life or grasp on sanity, eh "Clowntown"?
You two are the internet.
Thank God I don't have to give a fuck about Barry Goldwater all day. But I do have to give a fuck about fluoride all day. Hey, what have you done? Now my wife says "That shit needs a sidecar" whenever I say something profound. She also says I should be more ambitious like you. Curse you, Ian! You win again....BTW, you learned Hebrew in 1997, I learned Hebrew in 1967. I can tell you right now that that shit is not going to stick.
All I remember is the first five words of my Torah portion. I SPENT TWO YEARS LEARNING THAT SHIT.
I'm reading Rick Perlstein's "Before the Storm: Barry Goldwater and the Unmaking of the American Consensus." Coincidence? I Think So!

But I appreciate what you're saying with this one, Ian. I keep trying to say more or less This whenever anyone starts up with the whole "where young people come to retire" bullshit. I remind them: it's not a great place to find a job, but it is a great place to start a business. And the reason all the resta these people move here all the time is that it's genuinely pleasant to live here. We specifically made it that way for you.

Quality of Life is actually worth considering, believe it or not.
This guy gets it!
and one more thing. karmel: just being fat doesn't make you funny. In fact fat people are even less funny when they are not funny. Know what im saying?
I love you ian karmel!
I love you too!
Where is the bike jousting league in this town and how do I sign up? On a side note, me and a friend make delicious ganja beer which pisses on both OLCC regs AND OMMP regs. How's that for ambition?
My new ambition is to get some of it.

Please wait...

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