Extras Jul 31, 2013 at 4:00 am



Yyyyeaaah. This seems super-likely to end whatever acrimony is coming your way.
The Timbers & MLS were something I peripherally followed and was genuinely happy that existed until a few years ago. Not that I would attend a game or cough up some cash to promote American Airlines or anything, but glad there was a fringe sport this city of freaks ( that is if liking Star Wars an awful lot makes you a freak) had to call their own.

I too can identity with being obsessed with a fringe sport...hockey.You know soccer on ice -only faster and with more beer and fighting and less flopping. Ok in most places hockey is way more "normal" to be into than soccer, but in PDX more people understand what yellow cards mean over the goalie trapezoid. There is no real NHL presence in the Pacific Northwest so Winterhawk games are kind of like a United Nations summit on hockey. Go to one and you will see jerseys from Dynamo Moscow to the Owen Sound Attack sprinkled in with a sea of Redwing and Winterhawk gear.

The Timbers Army have a night where they all sit in the same section, which in theory is awesome because Timber fans seem to be the best fans in the MLS. In fact they are such good fans they still root for their team even when attending an entirely DIFFERENT sport. That's right. They are singing their " No pity" songs as if Donovan Ricketts was in goal instead of Mac Carruth. They are decked out in Timbers gear doing Timbers Army traditions to dismay of the Ice Hockey fans in the Rose Garden ( because there is no way the Vet would be good enough for them.)

It kinda dawned on me when they were singing one of their songs after THE OTHER TEAM SCORED that the Timbers Army is more about them getting attention then the actual sporting event they are attending. It's like no matter what was happening they had to remind us all " Hey we are here and we love the TIMBERS even at a hockey game, and you little pissants are lucky to hear our new cheers.!" Does it cross anyone's mind how condescending behavior like that may come off? IBM goes to a shit load of these games too, but you don't seem them laying people off during "TNT"or the kiss cam.

Timbers Army leave the green scarves at home and take up the black ( and red) on hockey night. We hockey fans are an ugly bunch but it makes our day to explaining icing to a new fan. Go with the flow and leave the swimming upstream for another night. We are happy to have you but its hard to respect another persons freakish obsession when they do not seem to have much respect for yours.
I played soccer for nine years back in the day into my late teens in the middle of nowhere against Mexicans from orchards when nobody gave two shits about it and although I enjoyed the shit out of it I can't stand watching it on TV. It bores me to death. Playing and watching are definitely two different things.
Any game in which both teams may (probably will) not score is evil because it means the fans will be insanely dissatisfied and probably loot and riot or at the very least do weird things with chainsaws and beer.

Soccer would be WAY cooler with no goalie. Hell it would be horizontal NBA!
LOL @Kronwall and his butthurt.

Good column. Would read again.
Ian Karmel doesn't care about black people.
Here are some of the things we drunk hipsters (is a 48 yr old dad that has a 9/5 gig a hipster?) do in addition to watching our damn game:


and a longer list here:

This still only accounts for just a very small portion of the community giving and donations on behalf of the Timbers Army, 107 Independent Supports Trust and our individual interests. The game brings us together. Together we give to community. Team. Town. TA.

Yup, we're just a bunch of haters.
I agree with Ian. People need to chill out. Motherfuckers can't take a joke. Problem is too many people have taken on TA culture as a personality implant, so any criticism of any minor detail seems like a personal attack. Which means some of us are dangerously close to becoming soccer's Trekkies. Yeah, we sing loudly and make big drawings. We help out in the community and try to be a net positive. So what? I don't do that to get validation from others or use it as a cudgel to fuck with people who don't like the same things I like the way I like them. Larp at me, bro!

Hey Ian, thanks for coming to a game.
Thanks, td! You helped prove the point.
Ian. Please don't come to Timbers games. You're taking a seat away from someone who actually likes the sport and wants to be there. Thanks.
I like the Timbers. I like Soccer. I'm happy if they win, but not quite disappointed and disjected if they lose or draw, this is because I have other likes and hobbies. For some people, that's all they have. It's like everything really, I can't stand political types, or religious people, or certain types of nerds; it's group-think and it ruins everything.

On the other hand, we've been sucking for the last few years, last year especially, the atmosphere always made up for it. The Timbers finished at the bottom of the table, but the TA made one of the best tifo's to end all tifo's. It was a great piece of art. And the games are just a great thing to behold. It's a party for sure.

I'm totally with Ian though, just enjoy it and don't take yourselves too seriously. (seriously)
Hipsters? Motherfucker, you have a column called Portland As Fuck in the most hipster weekly in existence! Is this just textbook projecting? Are you in hipster fucking denial??
Agreed. Also@kronwall.....Wings and Winterhawks fan for life here. Great screen name
I have followed the Timbers/FC Portland Timber for 3 decades. I was fine with how it was and is now, but he is right. Seriously, take it easy and enjoy the match
So many white people among the Timbers Army.

Please wait...

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