Would've been cheaper to just take a hit of ecstasy.

SOLID COMMENT.

This column kicks ass!

I realized in about 1992 that the Portland Failblazers would be cursed with highs but never be able to reach out and grab that golden ring. I spent year after year cheering them onto the playoffs only to see them fail at the bitter end. Yeah, I gave up.. but my quitting was solidified when the Blazers were getting arrested week after week for trying to smuggle weed through airport security in a ball of fucking tin foil.

I was happy to see the blazers revamp themselves but watching a bunch of spoiled millionaires get sweaty for a few hours isn't as much fun as shooting people on Call of Duty. Priorities change I guess.

I'm not sure why Portland people like to hate on all the areas that surround it. Portland is a big city but believe it or not there's a whole economy outside of the Portland city limits. There are actual places of employment out in these nether regions. And sitting in traffic for an hour or more to commute, waste gas, and listen to petty talk radio idiots isn't for everyone. And much to the surprise of many there are plenty of Portland elitists that commute to Beaverton, Tigard, and the hated Gresham in the pursuit of the all mighty dollar. Just think.. a few even go to Canby!!! (the horror!!!)

So when you are at your favorite bar downtown bitching about the suburbanites that infest your beloved city just think about how many of your fellow hipsters can be hipsters because there's places to work outside the city limits.

Sweet.

Haha gorgeous hipster prince

This column fucking sucks.

Well I'll take that criticism and apply it to the next column, in the meantime, you should kill yourself with a weapon.

no criticism from me i liked it.
The blazers are what there is here. You think to yourself: what if Paul Allen moved the team to Sacramentos or somewhere? Even if you only care about the blazers 5 percent thats a huge chunk of your life you wont have anymore.
Timbers? no. Just no. Sports without scoring are like a Powell's book reading only in sign language.
You keep doing what you're doing Big Boy and -I- will let you know when the column sucks. It does not suck at this time.

Good comment. On a side note: At least that hipster prince is listening to Magnetic Fields at a bar as opposed to the rest of every Target Hipster -- ubiquitous around the country -- who drown our bars with Mumford and fucks' music. Our city needs some new rules about public pub music. And I'm not talking about Buffalo Wild Wings or Rock Bottom. I have little beef with every fashion show hipster save for when their taste in top 40 infiltrates my local watering holes. And why are you knocking Magnetic Fields as your hipster case in point? You know that the hottest Portland woman/guy/Trans you will ever lay is probably huge fan...or to some other very similar band (e.g. Kings of Convenience). Much to your hipster-loving delight!

DUDE. You made me feel fuzzy feelings in addition to funny feelings. I admire that.

Dude, I am going to give you an "and one" for that step-back Seven reference. Awesome.

Jokes about the suburbs don't reflect my feelings about the suburbs, I was born in the suburbs, raised in them. I was just trying to talk about the fractured sense of "Portland" - people in the suburbs complain about hipsters, hipsters complain about people from the suburbs, they both complain about people from the 'Couv.

I think my favorite Hipster Prince album is Diamonds and Pearls and Wallet Chains.

totally agree with @kerry. Also, next time think about all the people from the suburbs who commute to Portalnd to work to make your city a city. That traffic isnt there for no reason.

How fucking original. A hipster version of Subway Jared making jokes about the burbs. There's a reason your column is buried on the back page......it sucks. You should just pour gas on yourself and find a match.