I'm gonna pretend you took the week off, if that's OK with you.

Why would you be so hurtful, Todd?

I almost deleted the comment. But you lost me with "swarthy pedophilia" and didn't get me back. I guess your going for the cheap and easy pedo joke threw me. I almost never say this (unless I'm trying to get sex), but I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings.

I also saw the joke as aiding (unintentionally, I'd guess) the homophobic "gay equals pedophile" smear. Ancient Greece was the Western culture where homosexuality was most tolerated, until the modern era. Were there pedophiles in ancient Greece? Of course, just as in every human culture. Were there more than in other ancient cultures? I don't know, do you?

Now I feel like a bit of a prig. Too politically correct. But maybe my detailed dissection of and second-guessing about a line from your column in an alt-weekly is just my way of being Portland As Fuck.

Seriously? You think I'm going to go for an easy gay joke? I just spent my entire last column defending fair and equal treatment of homosexual couples with a story about wolves and the comedian Gallagher. You may not think it was funny, but it definitely wasn't easy.

The "swarthy pedophile" line is a reference to the ancient Greek tradition of pederasty, which was a homosocial practice that occasionally (but not always) involved homosexual activity between a full-grown man and a minor... therefore, swarthy pedophilia. Feel free to read all about it, it's fully source cited- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pederasty_in_…

On top of that, the White History Month Curriculum was comically written in such a way to appeal to the kinds of fucking idiots who actually think there should be a white history month. It's written in what I thought was a blatant, even oafish, satirical voice. The joke isn't that ancient Greek guys fucked each other, the joke is that uptight, uber-conservative white guys want a "white history month" and often cite the achievements of the Greeks as evidence of the need for a "white history month" - but the Greeks didn't just invent democracy, they also had a cultural institution of pederasty, which is something a Romney vote would have trouble leveling with the rest of his furor.

Fuck, I hate dissecting jokes.

Ian, you have done it again! This was hilarious and I have seen people post the same thing! I literally was laughing out loud while reading this. Great work. My personal fav • Women's Suffrage: How to blame your wife for Barack Obama.

You spelled ass wrong in the name of your column.
And once again your column sucks ian. Ask me why. Im starting to think the one time your column did not suck was just a good mistake. That happens sometimes you know. Like Jesus. And then a bunch of hebe tards killed him.

The first line of the Wikipedia article states that this practice generally involved teens, therefore not prepubescent, and not pedophilia. And the citation that you linked to states that men who went after younger males could be prosecuted. So your joke withers, though labeling it "comically written in such a way to appeal to...fucking idiots" does tend to make it unassailable.

If you had just written "The Ancient Greeks: Originators of democracy and Gallagher" we could've avoided this entire discussion.

Hey Todd, maybe this particular column's humor just wasn't for you. Nothing is universally funny, the fact that you need to sit in front of your computer and say shit like "the joke withers" should concern you more than the exact point that boyfucking becomes pedophilia and how it pertains to a joke in a column with fuck in its name.

"maybe this particular column's humor just wasn't for you"

That's what I was expressing in my original comment. I didn't ask you to explicate, defend, or apologize for any jokes. I've been commenting on Blogtown for a while now, and I've had people pretend I was dead, express the *wish* that I was dead, and generally criticize me on any number of occasions, and I didn't, as far as I remember, call it hurtful (even when, perhaps, it was). Maybe because I'm not anonymous my criticism stings more that when it comes from "I'mrightyerwrong" or "Mr. Mxlplxlxlxlxlxlx," and I'm sorry about that, but you should be prepared to take a few lumps when you're writing a column, especially one with fuck in its name. While I know it's tough putting work out there—I've had writing published in the past—frankly, I just expected you to think "Huh. Mecklem didn't like the column. Dumbass!"

My dog, whose coat is mostly black & white, is 'racist' against brindle dogs, even if they're the same species as she is. She also feels superior to those with grayish/blue coats, especially Weimaraners.

She's a really smart dog, and she has her reasons, which i'm sure are as logical and airtight as the ones some of us humans have for looking down upon those with a slightly darker or lighter skin tone than ours.

Anyway, enough of all this white and black shit -- what about the mutts? Surely there are more of us mutts around than so-called 'pure' whites or blacks or browns or yellows, whether we realize it or not, whether we care to admit it or not. Where the hell is our 'Mutt history month'?? President Obama ain't black OR white, you tits. And neither are you. Quit having pride in something so arbitrary and insignificant.

"Huh. Mecklem needs to dissect the joke AND have the last word. Killjoy!"

George C Scott once said the true mark of intelligence is to be able to hold two disparate ideas equally in your mind at the same time.

I tried to like and dislike human in training's comment at the same time but i failed.

Ian, don't ever listen to Mecklem. Nobody else does.

Jesus. Mecklem needs to remove an entire case of Summer's Eve from his larynx. Funny shit, Ian.

"I've had writing published in the past"

I've seen your work with Gallant, Todd, and I am unimpressed.

So is it rascist that I (dumb old white guy) can't be on Blackpeoplemeet.com and meet black people?

Or is it just racist that I had to paint my face black for my profile pic so that I can use blackpeoplemeet.com?

I liked the line about womens suffrage too ... but.....
I think I read somewhere that BET will air episodes of 'The Wire' while editing out the white charachter storylines. If this is true, I can only guess the at the outrage if some 'country' station aired episodes of a series while editing out black charachters.
Todd, you're alright man.
Did Kiala natter on about something again?

tl:dr

Hey...FYI...for those that ranked on me from previous posts, I am not Todd Mecklam. Thanks!

Ah, at last, the "reverse Spartacus effect"!

Ian Karmel is the best thing the Mercury has going for it right now. Hilarious and conscientious.

Dear Ian,

You are smart and funny.

Sincerely,
Kayleen V.

zzZZzzz